Sex Stories We Love: Reconsidering BDSM, Hard Therapy, & Another Peg on the Notch

All too often we focus on our differences, and not necessarily in a positive way. Even if we know that there are many different flavours in the sexual ice cream bar (32, ha!), we forget that those various tastes aren't wrong. They just make up more of life's variety. So, this week's Sex Stories We Love is all about engaging and learning about our sexual differences and how we can celebrate them!

Reconsidering BDSM

Th idea of BDSM has been on a roller coaster the past few years. It used to be so taboo, something people didn't talk about. If you were involved in those types of activities, you kept it well hidden for fear of stigma or worse. Then, Fifty Shades of Grey came along and everyone began talking about BDSM. There was lots of experimentation going on. You could even call it a full-on cultural phenomenon. This was great (although the books themselves were problematic) because it got the public eye on specific sexual preferences that were previously so misaligned. Now, it seems, we might be heading to a more even-keeled path of critical look combined with plenty of fun. This is great news in terms of getting BDSM declassified as a mental health issue and just a form of play. Leather hat tip to these researchers for creative methodology!

Hard Therapy

As it turns out, perhaps BDSM is more than just play and does have a solid grounding in psychology - just now the way people previously thought. Instead, we are seeing more and more women seeking therapy from Dommes through BDSM. This is particularly fascinating given the historical classification of BDSM as a psychological problem, not an aid. Yet, there are many people who've been active in BDSM play will note that there can be something beyond the sexual element. This type of stimulation, both physical and psychological, gives you both an opportunity to react and experience feelings. This change can offer the outlet that is needed to encourage discussion, revelation, and healing. Look for more of these types of arrangements in the coming years.

Open Up

Another relationship configuration that challenged society, but is gaining in popularity and acceptance, is the open relationship. There are many different variations and names for this type of connection. The core is that you and a partner(s) understand and agree that you or they (or all of you) can experience other relationships, sexual or otherwise, with other people while maintaining your core connection. So far, there haven't been many celebrities to attach their name to this social shift. However, Ricky Martin believes bringing open relationships into the public eye will help everyone, particularly gay men. Martin is currently features as Gianni Versaci's partner and has certainly been pondering things beyond his performance.

Another Peg on the Notch

Another type of sexy time fun that has enjoyed a significant surge in popularity is pegging. Straight guys have taken to this sublime form of pleasure like ducks to water. Yet, not everyone is able to discuss and participate in pegging fun. For men of colour and of various communities, being known to enjoy sexual activities that may be perceived as "gay" can be very stigmatizing and potentially dangerous. It is telling that two men wanted to share their experiences with pegging, but only anonymously. This doesn't mean that these fellas aren't into it. They sure are. With more understanding, more folks will be able to speak about their own enjoyment of hot pegging action.

Wake Up or Sleep In?

Now, morning sex is not a societal issue, nor has it been the cause of stigma and shame. I bet if you get a roomful of people to debate whether morning sex is a good or an unwelcome thing, you'll probably see a clear divide in the room. Some people love it. Other people hate it. Rarely is it something folks just don't have an opinion on. Hey, there are many good reasons on both sides of the equation. What is your opinion? Are you a rise and shiner or do you prefer brunch in bed?

Coming Back Together

Finally, morning sex might become the least of your worries if you and your partner's sex lives just aren't in sync. Is there anything you can do? For sure!