Read This Before Attending Your First Swinger Party

Some swing clubs provide lockers; some do not. Ask the hosts if lockers are provided and whether locks are included (or if you can rent one).

No matter how secure you feel the swing club is, I recommend refraining from bringing valuables to a swinger party. If you are attending a play-on-premise event, you more than likely paid in advance—so take everything out of your wallet except the bare minimum (like your licence, credit card and some cash for tipping the bartender).What Should I Wear to A Swinger Party?

Swinger parties sometimes have themes. Ask about this in advance and, if there is, confirm whether you're obligated to dress according to it. I have seen hosts turn couples away who were dressed very nicely—but not in theme.

And, whether or not there's a theme, double-check with the hosts if the event has a dress code—such as no sandals, sneakers or hats.

READ: Everything You Need to Know About Your First BDSM Play Party.What Do I Do With My Phone?

Most clubs have similar policies regarding cell phone use on-premises.

Some clubs require phones to be left in your car or locked in a locker. However, typically, you cannot bring a phone into the playroom under any circumstances—even if everyone is consenting to photographs or video. That's because, when alcohol is involved, sometimes not everyone is thinking clear.

There are clubs that will make the exception to this—like in the case of parents who need their phones to check in with a babysitter. However, if you do need to take a call, it's important to do so outside or away from others.Can I Drink Alcohol At A Swinger Party?

In most cases, yes. However, whether you buy it there or bring your own will depend where you are, the laws in your area and the type of event you're going to (like whether it's a play-on-premise event or a bar meet-and-greet).

Most lifestyle clubs are a BYOB and most provide mixers, however you're going to want to clarify which mixers they have. If you only drink tonic and they only have soda water, you might be in a jam—so it doesn't hurt to ask or bring your own.

Another thing you want to ask is whether you're allowed to take your alcohol home with you at the end of the night if you do not finish it. Some clubs let you do that, while others enforce that any unconsumed alcohol must be left behind.

Now, let's talk about alcohol consumption.

It is completely understandable to be nervous about attending your first swinger function—and a drink or two can help take the edge off. However, overindulging is never a good idea at a Lifestyle event. Becoming too intoxicated can play a role in the decisions you make and impact your ability to consent, so be aware of your drinking and pace yourself.How Do I Prioritize Safety?

Keep Barrier Methods of Birth Control On Hand

I've heard the worst excuses for why protection was not used during play: "My condoms were in my locker," "The club did not have barriers available," "It is a clothing-optional resort; I had no place to put my condom."

If you are mature enough to be part of the swing lifestyle, you should be mature enough to know the importance of using protection. Some people with penises will keep condoms in their socks or wear them around their neck—there are always steps you can take to keep yourself and your partners safe.

READ: Group Sex Etiquette 101.

Practice Cleanliness

I have attended clubs where staff monitor the playrooms and are constantly changing the bedding and providing new towels, condoms and lube.

I have also seen the complete opposite; I've been at clubs where one sheet is left on the bed, there's no hand soap in the bathrooms and nothing to dry your hands on except an old bath towel—crusty, hard and practically stuck to the rack.

That's all to say: Be mindful. Pack personal hygiene necessities in your play bag and, if needed, take it into the restroom with you.

Other Safety Best Practices

At the most basic level, safety at a swingers party is just like safety at any bar or night club: Never leave your drinks unattended or take headache medicine from someone you don't know.

Luckily, I have never had any bad experiences at my venue, or at one I attended as a guest But that doesn't mean you should let your guard down—you never know when there might be a bad seed in the crowd and you need to remain aware of your surroundings.Conclusion

Just like all new experiences in life, when attending your first swingers party, take your time, enjoy the experience and make smart decisions.

Enter slowly, keep all lines of communication open with your significant other (if you have one) and remember why you are here in the first place: to feel like that little kid running up to your first roller coaster.

'Til next time,

Coralyn Jewel