For example: if you feel comfortable as male-identified, collect styles and affectations that you consider ultra-masculine; this could be anything from using an accent to the clothes you wear.
Think of it as motivational acting. Get into the head of your new male self. What’s their name? What’s their voice like? What do they like to eat and drink? What do they wear? And what kind of dominant are they?
Some things might might be uncomfortable. Other things could lead to discovering a new side to your BDSM play.
If being female is more to your liking, you can follow that path as well. Try picking up and trying on all kinds of styles and forms to discover what may or may not work for your personal kinks.
A great way to do research different gender archetypes is to use media. Take some time to dissect and examine your favorite characters, adding parts of them to your own kink persona.
Drifting back to males, how about a bit of Hannibal Lecter (though not too much), a touch of Bogart, a smidgen of Picard, and a pinch of Bond? Then mix well and serve (shaken, not stirred) and see what you become.
Gender as an Expression of Vulnerability
One side, of course, can’t exist without the other. So just as you can amplify strengths, you can also ramp up submissiveness. Just like with domination, the trick is to try out various forms to see what feels good, right, and most of all arousing.
The thing, though, with submissives is you do need to be careful about this new persona you create; not in the act of creation, but being able to emotionally pull yourself out of it.
Because of this, it’s highly recommended to work with your dominant when you go on this gender play voyage to set up some clear and safe guidelines for aftercare and recovery.
Age play can be a big part of this type of gender experimentation. By consciously going back to a more innocent state, the sensations, especially the emotional impact of everything going, can be magnified.
Again, this is where safety is critical as this kind of play can also accidentally trigger subconscious childhood traumas—so always play smart and, most of all, play safe.
Another angle to submission and gender is to force it in contrary ways as a form of humiliation play. By making a male-identified person wear female clothes or a female-identified playmate dress in male garments, the dom can use their discomfort and shame as an erotic tool.
It must be noted that this should only ever be done with clear consent and with unobstructed lines of communication. This type of plan can summon powerful emotional forces and should never be done without knowing as much as possible about the person you're playing with.
Gender as an Expression of Creativity
Harking back to the beginning of this article, gender is not now and has never been binary. So, when you want to try your hand (and other body parts) at new forms, try not to be hemmed in by what anyone else says you should be.
Perhaps your dominant side wears a skirt, combat boots, sports pink hair, and a handlebar moustache; maybe your submissive self wears a 50s style bra, jodhpurs, and a mohawk. The same is true about your personality. Why not try a bit of Blofeld, a touch of Black Widow, a pinch of Louis Renault, and a sprinkle of Mary Poppins?
If it works then it works—and more power to you!
And if it doesn’t work, try something else. The sky is literally the limit when it comes to gender play possibilities.
Gender as an Expression of Choice
A leftover from our primitive days when being aware of everything, especially when not doing so could result in us getting eaten, we humans do love our our patterns. Look at a cloud and it becomes a bunny rabbit… It’s all leftover survival instincts.
Gender is the same way. For the longest time, we didn’t see it as nebulous. We limited it depending on our culture or biased upbringing. Yet, part of evolving is becoming more and more comfortable with ambiguity; in giving up the illusion that the universe must be either this and that.
At the core of gender expression lies respect and empathy: to see others as who they are, who they want to be, who they need to be, and let go of the toxicity that says your way is the only way.
So become yourself—whoever that is—and treat others with the same love and acceptance as you’d like others to show you: in the dungeon, as well as everywhere else.