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My partner has a huge pubic mound. How can I satisfy her?

Q:

I am a normal man with a normal sized penis of about 5 inches when erect. My partner has a huge pubic mound and, as a result, I can't penetrate her most of the time. I measured with a small ruler and found that the vaginal opening is about 40 mm deep from the surface. and the mound can't be spread out to see the opening. So, when we're trying to have sex, most of the time there is no penetration at all and I ejaculate into the mound.

Is she normal? She's too shy to visit a doctor about this. What can I do to make sure she is satisfied with our sex life?

A:

First things first: As surely as you can state that you are a normal man with a normal anatomy, I want you to remember that your partner is normal with a normal anatomy. Everyone's body is different and while hers may be different than others you've dealt with, it doesn't make her abnormal.

Let's talk about a couple of surefire ways to NOT satisfy a partner:

  1. Obsessing over your perception that their anatomy is abnormal because your body doesn't fit with it in the way it has with past partners.
  2. Busting out a ruler (seriously?!) to get measurements of exactly how "abnormal" they are.
  3. Pressing them to see a doctor because of what you perceive to be their weird body.
  4. Asking me how you can please them instead of asking them.

OK, moving on. I see a lot of you in this question: your dick size, how you can't get it in, how you want to be told what to do. All I know about your partner, on the other hand, is that she is shy and you have emailed measurements of her genitals to a stranger. How does she feel about her mons? Right now I'm guessing she's not feeling great about it, but how did she feel before all this obsessing started? What does she like in bed? Has she had this issue before? Does she even consider this an issue? Is she unsatisfied (apart from the body shaming?)?

I suggest you get your hands on a book called "Curvy Girl Sex" by Elle Chase. It combines theory and tons of practical advice (including positions and toy recommendations, both of which you may find helpful). I think there's lots in there for both of you. Start with the body image stuff. I think you may both need it.

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Written by JoEllen Notte
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Writer, eductaor, adult retail consultant and head of the Portland Academy of Sex Education- that's JoEllen Notte, The Redhead Bedhead. Her Superhero Sex Shop Tour took her across the country and made her site home to the internet's most comprehensive directory of sex positive adult retailers.
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