Sex education

Sex Stories We Love: Know What You Like, What You Don’t Like & Something New

Published: NOVEMBER 14, 2018 | Updated: FEBRUARY 14, 2022
In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we play homage to the fact that sex isn't always amazing. Here's how to turn that frown upside down!

Sex is a lifelong journey. It will not be the same, all the time, for all of our lives. When our sex lives are going good, we're generally content. When sex goes bad, the grumbling starts. In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we're going to explore the ways we can turn that frown around into your O face!


Know What You Like

So, you're hoping to improve your sex life...but where should you start? For all the advice available, there's one true starting point on any journey to make sex better: discover yourself. Our bodies and our minds are the most important tools and assets to bringing out the best in our sexual selves. We are very much conditioned to think that sex is determined by how we connect and gel with another person. Sure, that's important...but if you don't really connect with yourself first, it is going to be very hard to bring the right stuff to sex with someone else. Because many of us are not taught about sex, both the mechanics and the feelings, we are often unprepared to move forward with people in the most fulfilling way. If you're feeling underwhelmed in your sex life, take that step back and explore what sex means for you and your body.

Know What You Don't Like

Of course, some folks have what they like, want, and need all figured out. That's awesome! At the same time, they're also probably fully aware of what totally turns them off. Sure, we all have likes and dislikes. We should always remember that some of our dislikes might actually be very exciting for others. Lists that detail absolute sexual turn-offs will inevitably include some general hygiene and social norm concerns, as well as more specific issues that may or may not come from the writer's bias. However, the more important list is the one you can make yourself. You can't be expected to feel sexytime tingles for everyone. Whether you can look past some of those concerns is up to you.

Something New

Now, just because you're looking to make sex better doesn't mean that you haven't known good sex in the past. Whether you're shopping around or have already gone through check-out with the person of your choice, we must be aware that sticking to one type of sexual flavour can dull our sexy taste buds. As with many things in life, it's so damn easy to fall into a rut of repetition. That does expose a sexual catch-22. Ideally, we want to find and provide sexual thrills to our playmates. We try and miss and try and find the things they love. So, it is only natural to want to do those things over and over so that they always feel the good feelings. Yet, that can lead the the rut. Instead, keep those go-to techniques in your back pocket while also attempting and trying new sexual fun sometimes. That's the balance that will keep you walking the edge of pleasure.


The Fun of Toys

One of the best things to try? Sex toys! Whether you already have an overflowing tickle trunk or you're new to sexy playthings, adding a hot new sex toy can definitely bring some newness and awesomeness to any sexual situation. With the new and exciting products coming out so frequently, you can enjoy something fresh quite frequently if you've got the budget. Sex toys have taken on a whole new meaning and understanding. They have taken a strong place in our sex lives and are understood to be helpful. This better acceptance allowed manufacturers more opportunity to develop more and better options.

Do Not Disturb

Who among us hasn't felt the sexy allure of a stay in a hotel? If you don't have the opportunity to escape from the humdrum monotony of real life very often, the many luxuries of staying in a room that isn't yours to look after is a very liberating experience. So much so that it often liberates people of their sexual inhibitions and fears. For many, hotel sex can be some of the best sex we ever have in our lives. Considering that the idea of a hotel has a past directly connected to sex, it makes sense that this history lives on with our vacation and getaway fun. If you're looking to make sex great again, even for just one night, try to book some time away. Then, hopefully, bring some of that enthusiasm back home.

Socialism Saves Sex?

Finally, might women enjoy better sex if we make a shift to socialist ideologies? It might not be a stick fingers, erotic page-turner, but Why Women Have better Sex Under Socialism might present some big picture ideas to ponder.

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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