In this case, that man's partner may be left without the satisfaction a more egalitarian approach to sex includes. The belief that ejaculation indicates sex is over is so pervasive many people go their entire sexual lives without realizing this isn’t OK, even though it seems “normal.”
Are there guys who just don't give a damn? Sure. But there are also guys who just don't know better. They've been raised in toxic masculinity, just like the rest of us. First they have to learn. Some will be open to change. This just proves that toxic masculinity doesn’t have to be an ingrained feature. We can reject it. Many people already have.
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Sexual Violence
It would be wrong to not include sexual violence in this list. Of course it does much more than harm sex lives. It hurts people - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Rape culture and toxic masculinity go hand in hand, though. Yes, women can (and do) rape people too, but it’s men who are the overwhelming perpetrators of the crime. We know this.
If this all sounds grim the good news is that good work is being done by those who speak out about rape culture, those who push for more inclusive sex education, and everyone who says, “This is wrong.” Not accepting sexual violence (in all its forms) as “normal” helps. Raising younger generations in a different way helps. Actually punishing criminals helps. But it’s a slow moving ship, and the worst parts of toxic masculinity will be with us for a long time.
That doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying, though. We all need to do more talking about toxic masculinity, what it means, and how to leave it behind. We need a new definition of what masculinity can mean. And we need to embrace the change that comes along with all of that. And as for sex? Well, great sex is healthy, consensual, safe and based on equality. We need more of that too.