"’I love making it a ritual: putting on my favorite music, rubbing myself down with lotion, and connecting with my body and pleasure. It’s an amazing way to connect with myself emotionally, physically and spiritually," Crossman said.
You might want to try it alone, at least at first while you’re still learning, so that you can be completely focused on yourself and your intention rather than the other person. However, Donald Michael Kraig, author of "Modern Sex Magick: Secrets Of Erotic Spirituality," says that magic is even more potent when practiced by two or more individuals. If you do practice sex magic with another person just make sure you inform them. Crossman says ‘’I believe using energy work during sex and not disclosing it to your partner is a form of non-consent.’’
Nichols and Devi believe that ‘’the more you plan for a ritual, the more powerful it becomes.’’ So put a date in your calendar and get everything ready. Clean your room. Bathe beforehand, and wear your favorite scents or jewelry. You might also choose to make an alter with sacred objects like tarot cards, incense or feathers. Place the piece of paper or vision board with your desire on it nearby.
One of your tasks is to keep in mind your intention at the point of orgasm. Having a tidy, distraction free space that reminds you of your ritual is helpful.
Crossman loves wearing an eye mask and headphones with Tantric music on so she can fully focus on manifesting. Slow, conscious breathing can also help you avoid getting swept away in the moment of pleasure so that you remember your intention.
"Before beginning place your right hand on the belly below the naval. Exhale all the air, emptying yourself out. Now take a deep breath into the nose, down the throat into the belly, and expand your belly like a balloon," says Tantra teacher and founder of Tantra Nova. "Next exhale slowly, at your own pace. Visualize sending the breath back up and out, and notice your belly flattening. Continue breathing in this pattern; witness the rise of the belly on the inhalation and the fall of the belly on the exhalation."
Try to keep breathing consciously as you begin to touch yourself or your partner.
Crossman recommends simply ‘’experimenting with your body, and what feels magical. See what raises your sexual energy, increases arousal and gives heightened sensation.’’ She believes that using a Tantric approach that is ‘’not about the destination, but the journey of sexual energy" is important.
Visualize Sexual Energy
As you breathe consciously, Meuth suggests that you might want to visualize sexual energy travelling up through the chakras to the third eye. Here, your energy can merge with your desire, and you can visualize what you are trying to manifest at the moment of orgasm.
"Some physical and mental issues may make orgasm extremely difficult or impossible. Not all people orgasm, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no shame. You can still harness the higher vibrations and use that for your sex magic rather than trying to reach orgasm," Crossman said.
At your moment of peak pleasure, or orgasm, remember your intention. Take the feel-good sensations and transfer them to a picture in your mind’s eye of your desire being fulfilled. The ecstatic feeling of orgasm becomes the ecstatic feeling of fulfilling your dream. Relax and remember to breathe consciously. You might want to experiment with edging to let the feeling build up and be as powerful as possible.
You may have heard the old adage, ‘’You can pray for the winning Lotto numbers, but at some point, you’ve got to buy the ticket.’’ When the ritual is over and all those feel-good hormones are pulsating through you, take the first step toward your goal. Make a phone call, build a website, or do whatever you need to do to follow your dreams. Because whether you believe in magic or not, there’s no denying the power behind those post-orgasm endorphins. How you use that power in your life is up to you.