Anal sex

How to Use an Anal Training Kit

Published: JULY 28, 2021
Open sesame! If you are aiming to get something bigger up your b-hole, an anal training kit might be just the ticket.

Welcome to the world of anal pleasure! As more and more people can testify, the anal area can be an intensely pleasurable zone to play around. While many people are more than happy to just play around the entrance, adding penetration to your sexual playlist can add even more sensations into your bedroom play.


One of the most common ways that people begin their anal penetration journey is with the purchase of an anal training kit.

What's an Anal Training Kit?

For most people, when they decide to penetrate the backdoor, they go straight for an anal training kit. It seems like the easiest option. After all, anal training kits are specifically designed for beginners to "train" themselves in anal sensations. It's even in the name!

So what, exactly, is an anal training kit? Each kit will vary by manufacturer, but in general, an anal training kit is made up of anal toys of varying size. They are usually a similar design, just in progressively larger shapes. The particular toy's shape, color, material, and sizes will vary between each individual set, but most sets are comprised of three different toys the look the same in "small," "medium" and "large." Anal training can be done for the purposes of being able to insert objects with a larger girth, longer objects (as in anal depth training), or both. People may also be training toward kinkier goals like creating an anal gape.

The fact that all of the included toys in a single kit "look the same" is an important factor. Since all of the toys look exactly the same - but slightly vary in size - it allows your anal training to stay relatively reliable. If you try to use the next-biggest toy and find that it's causing you discomfort, you can rule out any texture or design changes. You automatically know that it's a size issue (since all of the toys are the same design). This can help you stretch anally safer, faster, and more reliably. It takes a lot of the guesswork out.


Most manufacturers offer a discount for buying all three toys at once, so most anal training kits are well within the "affordable" price tag of someone looking to try a sensation for the first time.

Read: The Top 4 Anal Toys for Beginners

Why Buy an Anal Training Kit Instead of One Butt Plug?

An anal training kit is particularly ideal for a beginner who's interested in taking larger toys (or a penis!) at some point in the future. If you're a beginner who plans on sticking with smaller plugs for the foreseeable future, you might not find much use for an anal training kit. Since you plan to stick to smaller toys, there's just no need to "train" yourself to enjoy thicker ones.

However, if you're new to anal sensations and want to enjoy anal sex with a partner or play with a full-sized anal dildo, an anal training kit might be the easiest solution for you. You (usually) get three toys: small, medium, and large. This allows you to have a set of toys that are already pre-measured and ready for you to "graduate" between the three of them.


What About an Anal Dilator?

Up until recently, anal training kits were one of the few ways to explore anal training. Hence the name.

Recently, though, with innovations in the world of sex, a customizable anal dilator has popped onto the scene. The Odile is essentially an all-in-one anal training kit toy.

Instead of featuring multiple toys like an anal training kit, this anal dilator features an expandable - and contractible - design. One revolution of the "key" at the base of the Odile makes the Odile get 1 millimeter larger - or smaller - depending on the way you turn the key. This allows for the ultimate in customization - which is huge when your goal is anal training.

One of the coolest things about the Odile is the fact that it's only one toy. While Anal Training Kits will require you to pull out one toy in order to slide the next largest one in, that isn't the case with an anal dilator like the Odile. It can stay in the butt AND get gradually larger. You just turn the key at the base while the Odile is inserted, and you'll gently stretch the butt a little bit more.

Not only that, but the jumps in sizing are much smaller with the Odile. While a lot of anal training kits might go in 0.25" increments, the Odile's sizing increases are simple 1-millimeter increases. Especially if you're someone who is super sensitive (or very tight!), these very slim increases can be everything you want.

It's also a bit of a side bonus, but getting something like the Odile means you can't get the "wrong size". Especially from people new to anal, I find that some people over (or under!) estimate what anal size they want to use. This means they purchase a toy that's underwhelming - or it's a size that they can't use at all. That mistake can't happen at all with the Odile; you would just increase or decrease the diameter of the Odile.

You can still go with an anal training kit - and many people do! - but it's worth noting that Odile exists out there - especially since its design lends itself really well to anal training scenes.


Read: How to Use an Anal Dilator

Anything I Should Keep in Mind While Buying an Anal Training Kit?

Most anal training kits will vary in size, color, material, and design depending on the individual kit and who makes it. Most of these kits are targeted towards the "beginner."

However, you'll want to pay particular attention to the material.


A lot of companies try to use some of the cheapest materials offered - including ones that are full of phthalates or have terrible scents. (Since the companies assume you're a "beginner", they're hoping you don't know better.) Other companies use metals or other very stiff materials - which can be frustrating and hard to insert for a beginner.

While there's no "right" answer to what material is the best fit for you, you should be knowledgeable about body-safe options and what phthalates are.

When in doubt, try to choose a kit made from silicone. Luckily for everyone, a lot of manufacturers have started making very affordable silicone options.


Read: Sex Toy Safety: A Guide to Materials

In addition to the material, most people who buy an anal training kit want to able to take toys the size of the largest item of the set. This means, when purchasing your anal training kit, you should pay particularly close attention to both the smallest and the largest toy in the kit.

The largest toy is important because it will be the "ideal size." If you're hoping to use the kit to experience anal sex with a partner, make sure to choose a kit whose largest size is about the width of your partner's penis.

If you're hoping to use the kit to experience a particular dildo, choose a kit whose largest toy's diameter matches your ideal dildo. You get the idea.

The smallest toy matters because it builds upon your current experience. You don't want to buy one where the smallest plug is already smaller than what you can take - and a kit where the smallest plug is well beyond your abilities is also frustrating.

This means it's a good idea to have an idea of what your body can already take. Using fingers (and then measuring the diameter of your fingers!) makes this a somewhat easy way to figure out what kits will work for you.

As a general guideline, for most people who have never stuck anything up their butt - ever, sticking with a diameter between 0.5" and 0.75" on the smallest toy is a good idea. You can use a toy with a 1" diameter, but I'd recommend getting some experience with your fingers ahead of time.

If you already own the kit and find that the smallest toy is too large for you, don't fret. You have two options: you can either use your fingers to expand your body's abilities, or you can purchase another plug that's within your abilities in order to work yourself up to the kit's smallest plug.

Then you can continue with the kit's offerings.

Read: The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex

How Do I Use Anal Toys?

Kinkly has lots of beginner anal play guides that are worth reading, but to give you a basic overview, here's what you'll want to do when using anal toys for the first time:

Carve out alone time

Sure, you can do anal play with a partner, but most people tend to find that they take things more slowly, practice more patience, and generally don't stress when they're alone. No one is there to watch. No one is there to push. No one is there to judge.

Even when your partner is the best person in the world, you can still get self-conscious that they're bored watching the twentieth minute of you trying to insert a plug.

That being said, whatever time you want to carve out, whether solo or coupled, make sure it's a good time for relaxing - and a decent chunk of time. When you're first starting, I'd recommend carving out at least two hours for anal playtime. You can shorten this time as you learn your body and how much time you want.

Arousal helps

Once you've found the right time for your session, you want to find the right mindset, too. The butt is just like any other sensual zone; the sensations feel better when you're relaxed and turned on. (For the butt, however, you're also much less likely to injure yourself when you're relaxed and turned on! The butt can be a tight hole to get into when you're stressed or hurried!)

Since we want this to be pleasurable (in addition to being successful!), it's worth making sure you're turned on and want to play before you start.

Gather your supplies

Before you start inserting, this is your final step. You're going to want to gather all of your stuff. Sure, you could interrupt your session to walk across the house when you remember that you forgot to grab a towel, but why not get everything in place to start with?

Everyone's "needs" will be different, but the usuals include gloves, lube, the toys, disposable pads, towels, paper towels, and condoms. If you need some Liberator sex furniture to comfortably reach your butt, don't forget to grab that too.

Use so much lube

The biggest "secret" (and please, let's stop making this a 'secret'!) to pleasurable anal play is lubrication.

Lots and lots and lots of lubrication.

The butt doesn't provide any amount of slickness. When you're inserting a toy, you need to provide all of the slickness for it. This means lots and lots of sexual-specific lube. Before you insert the toy, slather the toy in lube. If you are using a silicone toy, stay away from silicone lube, as they degrade each other...a water-based lube is best. If it is a stainless steel or glass toy, sticking with silicone lube is great; the long lasting slipperiness of silicone is going to be your friend!

Rub lube in and gently around the entrance to your butt, too. If you think you've used enough lube, it probably isn't enough. Throw more on there. If you'd describe your toy as "caked in lube," you're probably at the right level.

Take it slow

No matter what type of anal toy you're using, you still need to take it slow. Gently press the toy up against your entrance and allow yourself to feel the gentle stretch as the toy slowly stretches your body open. Don't "shove". Instead, gently apply pressure until you've reached a spot where it feels pretty intense. It will feel very full - and like there's a lot of pressure.

Let your body rest there before proceeding. In fact, if it never stops being "intense," you've just reached your limit for the day. Don't try to go past that. You may not insert the entire toy your first time, and that's a-okay. It's a fun challenge that you get to conquer over time!

There should be no sharp pain at any part in this process. If there is, back off from going as deep as you are or add more lubricant. If the pain continues, call it a day and give it a try some other time.

You can continue playing with your toy in a way that is pleasurable for you. Consider wiggling or jiggling it. Do small, tiny thrusts. Pull out entirely and insert back to the same depth that you were before. While butt plugs weren't necessarily designed for thrusting, the Odile's design or flared base dildos can be great for full thrusting.

Experiment with various movements and see what feels best for you with this particular toy. The sensations and enjoyment vary with every individual toy, but you can get to know this toy and learn more about your body and your pleasure potential in the process.

Clean up and put away

Once you've achieved your desired "end" (whether that's orgasm, moving onto something else, or just being done for the day), it's time to clean up. I know it can be easy to put this off or forget about it, but this really has to be done within a half-hour of finishing up your playtime.

Cleaning the toy as soon as you're done with it will help prevent the toy from retaining any scent. Not only that, but warm water and anti-bacterial soap will remove any gunk and bacteria from the surface of the toy - getting ready for your next play! If, after your wash, you find the toy is still retaining any scent, let it sit in a bath of soapy water for as long as humanly possible.

You can even get a bowl just for filling with water for this purpose. I've let mine soak for three days before. Clean it thoroughly again after you've let it soak. The scent will gradually fade the longer the toy stays in the water. I don't know the scientific reason for this - it's just always what has worked for us.

Are There Ways to Make This Go Quicker?

Hold on, cowboys, cowgirls, and cowpeople! Part of the fun (and safety!) of anal training is going at your body's own speed. This isn't something that's supposed to happen overnight. Trying to "force" it to happen overnight can cause tears and potential health issues.

That being said, there are some ways to make it move along a bit faster. The easiest one is the rule of simple frequency. If you use your anal training kit toys more often, your body will acclimate to the stretching and size of the toys faster.

I'm not saying you should try playing four times a day, but if you increase your play sessions from once a week to three times a week, you'll move more quickly through the various sizes in your anal training kit.

The other way to help it move along faster is to use toys that "stay" in place for longer sessions. While you might get tired of holding a dildo in place for a couple of hours while you play a video game, keeping a toy inserted becomes a whole lot easier when it's a butt plug and it stays in by itself. This gives your body even longer to acclimate to the "stretch", and since it's time where you're focused on something else, it's probably just bonus pleasure time to you!

Read: A Beginner's Guide to Anal Stretching

How Do I Know When It's Time to Move to the Next Toy?

If this is your first anal training kit, you're probably still new to the feeling of anal sensations. So how do you know when it's time to pick the next-largest toy in your kit?

Well, there are a couple of signs. First, you should find your body simply and easily taking the entirety of your current toy. While you may still need to pause to take little breaks during the insertion, you'll notice the entire process has become a lot smoother - and it may only take a minute or less to get the entire toy in.

Another sign of being ready for a larger toy is the lack of the "intense stretch" that you used to feel. When your body doesn't feel stretched out as far as it used to when you started, that means that it's getting used to the stretch of the size of the current plug. That's not a bad thing! It just means that it's time to consider changing to the toy of the next-largest size.

Finally, the last "sign" of changing to a new toy is the feeling of boredom. If you're not particularly excited by the toy, even if you haven't "mastered" it, there's no reason to keep playing with it. Maybe your body just doesn't like the shape of it. Maybe it just aesthetically isn't a turn-on for you.

Whatever the reason, as long as you're not injuring your body by playing with a different toy in your anal training kit, there's no reason to stay on a smaller toy when you aren't enjoying it.

When Should I Buy New Anal Toys?

When should you think about "upgrading" past your anal training kit? The honest answer is: "whenever you want."

Has your anal play piqued your interest in another body safe sex toy? Have your experimentations led you to think that another toy might hit your pleasure points better? Do you just want to upgrade to a different type of materials or color scheme?

Whatever the reason, you can really stop using your anal training kit whenever you want. Who cares if you're half-way through the middle size and can't take the large one yet? As long as you find a toy that's smaller than the large size, you'll be fine.

We have a lot of guides here on Kinkly to help you select a great anal toy for your toy box once you've settled on adding something to your collection:

Just remember that you own the anal training kit in case you ever want to stretch yourself for larger toys in the future. That way you don't accidentally buy another one!

Mistress Kay

Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.

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