How to Use a Dildo
Pick the Right Dildo for the Job
While we do our best to point people in the right direction in terms of finding the right kind of dildo for them, know this: dildo lovers tend to accumulate a collection. Not only are a lot of the latest dildos amaaazing sex toys, many of them also come in beautiful shapes and colors that people get off on having as much as using.
Think About the Shape of Your Body and Your Physical Abilities
If you’re into vigorous thrusting, using a dildo on yourself can be hard work (in the best way, of course!) That said, that kind of movement can be difficult for some people depending on their physical abilities, the size and shape of their bodies, and any issues they may have with pain in their arms, wrists or shoulders.
When it comes to dildos, reach may be limited to by body size, arm length, or a combination, making thrusting a dildo very awkward – or impossible. In this case, a longer dildo can help. Many people find that a dildo with a C-curve can also be useful here.
Those with arm or wrist issues may want to look for a curved or “ergonomic” shape for easier thrusting. The weight of the toy may also be important here, so stay away from heavier materials and watch the weights on the sex toy specifications.
Sex toy reviews are a great way to get a sense of how a toy works in action, especially if you can find one by someone with a similar body shape to your own.
Warm Up First
Any kind of penetrative sex (whether vaginal or anal) is better, hotter and safer if you warm up first. Being aroused helps relax your body and make penetration much more pleasant (or even possible). If you’re with a partner, try some kissing or other foreplay. If not, tease yourself with your hands, a vibrator or other sex toy to get things started. As we get aroused, the vagina opens up, relaxes and begins to lubricate itself. The anus also becomes more relaxed with arousal too (be sure to use lube!).
As you get more experienced, your body will tell you when you’re ready for penetration. You’ll feel like you want it!
Experiment with Different Depths and Angles
Sex toys are all about experimentation. And, because dildos are one of the most versatile toys out there, they are a great tool for experimentation! So, don’t assume they’re all about thrusting. Try different depths, speeds and angles. Try twisting or rocking your dildo or wiggling back and forth inside of you. Consider your play a place to learn more about your body and what makes it feel amazing! (Oh, and we also have some tried-and-true tricks to try at the bottom of this post!)
Use Lube. Lots of Lube. All the Lube.
Lube makes any kind of penetration better, so do lube up that dildo before you get down to business. If you're using a silicone toy, you may need even more lube; if you’re using a glass or metal toy, you may need a bit less. Either way, having enough glide will ensure your tissues (and you) don’t get irritated. Just be sure to choose a body-safe, quality lube that you love, OK?
Put Them in Perspective
Dildos, just like any other sex toy, can be great for solo or partner play. You can fuck yourself silly, or hand the job over to your partner (we hope they’ll oblige!) You or your partner can also strap on a dildo for some strap-on or pegging play. But, while many dildos resemble the male anatomy, just remember to keep them in perspective. They’re toys, mere pieces of plastic or silicone designed for fun, not a threat or a replacement for a partner.
“Dildos are an addition to the bedroom, not a threat to men. View them as a friendly helper, not a slur to your manhood,” DeGrey said.
But Make Them Your Own
Sex toys are all about fantasy play, so if you use a dildo, we definitely encourage getting right into it! Pretend it’s attached to a fantasy fuck, pretend it’s an extension of your body – pretend whatever you want, but take time to imagine and embody that play.
“You know how at first, when you put a backpack on, you knock into everything because you aren't sure where the backpack is in space, but then after a while, you can feel how far behind you it goes, and you can navigate comfortably? That's what it's like with a dildo. The more you wear it — and *feel* it — the more you'll embody it,” says Sinclair Sexsmith, an erotica author and sex educator. “And embodying it makes a big difference when you're playing with it with someone else.”
Finally ... A Few Super-Hot Dildo Techniques to Try
Thrusting Downward
Even if you have a straight, simple dildo, you can still play with angles. Try thrusting down (towards the back of your body if you're lying on your back). This rocks the base of the dildo near your clitoris, which can provide earth-shattering stimulation for some people.
Thrusting Upward
The opposite way to thrust is upward, with the tip of the dildo pointed at the front side of your body if you're lying on your back. This way, you'll be thrusting against the G-spot, a super-sensitive area that many people find very orgasmic. If you're not into intense stimulation here, a gentle rocking motion with a curved dildo can feel amazing as well.
Do the Twist
As we mentioned, the vaginal opening has tons of sensitive nerve endings. Twisting a dildo around can help stimulate that area, especially if the dildo you're using has some texture.
Double Up
If you're into anal play, inserting an anal plug (or another dildo!) anally can really up the pleasure of using a dildo vaginally. Essentially, the insertion of an anal toy puts internal pressure on the vaginal canal, making it tighter and more sensitive to whatever motions you're making with that dildo.
In Conclusion: Do What Feels Good
These are just a few tips to set you on your dildo journey. But ... everyone is different. So find a dildo - and technique - that works for you through research, experimentation and play. Enjoy!