Sexual health

How to Stop COVID-19 From Ruining Your Sex Life

Published: MARCH 20, 2020 | Updated: SEPTEMBER 28, 2021
If you broaden your definition of sexual intimacy and get creative, you could not only continue to have a sex life, but also actually improve your sex life while practicing social distancing!

Being cooped up inside because of COVID-19, also called Coronavirus, is depressing and lonely enough as it is, but for those who were previously enjoying or pursuing sexual relationships, limitations placed on physical contact with others can make things even harder.


While the virus isn't sexually transmitted per se, it can be transmitted through any kind of close contact, which definitely includes sex — in-person sex, at least.

But if you broaden your definition of sexual intimacy and get creative, you could not only continue to have a sex life, but also actually improve your sex life while practicing social distancing!

Here are some ways to stay sexually active if you’re currently avoiding close contact with others due to the virus.


1. Get Creative with Cyber Sex

Cyber sex can mean more than people give it credit for. It can mean masturbating together, dirty-talking to each other, or even doing a strip-tease over video, says CalExotics resident sexologist Dr. Jill McDevitt.

Try acting out different scenarios and using different props like toys and sexy outfits.

Read: 5 Ways to Add Heat to Long-Distance Love Affairs


2. Practice Your Sexting Skills

Now is the perfect time to learn how to keep things spicy over text. “Talk about what you’ve done in the past, what you want to do, and your recent sex dreams,” ASTROGLIDE’s resident sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly suggests. “You can use words, photos, videos, voice notes, and emojis to create an exciting sexual encounter.”

Read: Sexting: A Guide to the Erotic Power of Words

3. Write Erotic Stories

If you’re feeling inspired, go beyond a simple sext and write an erotic story about an experience you and your partner have shared, something you wish to try in the future, or something completely fictional.


“They don’t have to be good. The fun is in being creative and reading them out loud to each other later, which stimulates your sense of hearing at a time when sense of touch may be off limits,” says McDevitt.

Read: One-Handed Reading: 5 Reasons to Read Erotica

4. Flirt via Text or Phone

You don’t have to engage in full-on phone sex or sexting — a little flirtation can go a long way, especially if it’s with someone you’re still getting to know, says O’Reilly:


“When you show genuine desire and interest in them, it gives their ego a welcome stroke and sets the tone for what may be to come in the future.”

5. Eye Gaze

For eye gazing, a tantric activity to help you connect with a partner, you sit facing them, look into their left eye, and breathe out as they breathe in. You can do this over video chat if you don’t want to be that physically close to someone.

“It can feel awkward at first but may lead to feelings of connection and a boost in oxytocin,” says O’Reilly.


6. Talk About Your Sex Life

Even if you can’t have sex right now, you can discuss your sex life so that it’s amazing once you’re together, says McDevitt. Trying sending each other “yes/no/maybe” lists that indicate what you might be willing to try out.

Read: Why We Should All Be Talking About Sex A Lot More Often

7. Focus on Emotional Intimacy

Talking to a partner and getting to know them better will also set the stage for great sex once you’re able to see each other, says O’Reilly.

“Conversations that allow for anticipation and exploration can help to invigorate some of the chemicals associated with new love, passion, and pleasure,” she explains. “As you discover more about your partner and peel back the layers, it can create an ongoing form of foreplay.”

You might ask them, for example, about people they admire, dreams they had as a child, and fond memories of theirs.

8. Plan Online Dates

The coronavirus may give online dating a whole new meaning. If you want to keep dating without being in close contact with anyone, you can arrange to have a meal or engage in another activity together over video chat, says O’Reilly. There are even dating apps like Firstdate that are specifically set up for this.

9. Try out New Ways of Masturbating

When you can’t be around others, it’s a good time to deepen your sexual connection to yourself. McDevitt suggests mindful masturbation, which means slowing down and touching yourself in ways you normally don’t.

Let go of the goal of orgasm and try to see how much sensation you can feel outside your genitals or with different types of touch on the genitals.

Read: 8 Masturbation Sex Positions for People With Vulvas

10. Take Advantage of Sex Toy sales

A number of sex toy companies feel your pain and are offering free or discounted products to help you get through all this time by yourself.

Bellesa is currently giving away thousands of their own vibrators, as well as ones by Womanizer, and all of its products are 20 percent off with free priority shipping. A number of other toys are currently on sale, including Ella Paradis’s G-Spot Hero and Kiki de Montparnasse’s entire selection.

11. Use Long-Distance Toys

With some high-tech toys, you and your partner can actually pleasure each other from a distance. We-Vibe’s We-Connect app connects to its toys so that a partner can control them remotely, and KIIROO's Onyx2 & Pearl2 Couple Set connect to each other, allowing for two-way interactive long-distance sex.

You may be physically apart, but with the right attitude, you can take advantage of the limits on your connections to connect in whole new ways.

Suzannah Weiss

Suzannah Weiss is a feminist writer, certified sex educator, and sex/love coach. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and more.

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