How to pleasure

How to Give Yourself a Blowjob

Published: MAY 9, 2023
You really can put your mouth where your penis is. All it takes is practice, dedication and a lot -- and I mean a lot -- of loosening up.

Not a myth; not a fantasy: you really can put your mouth where your penis is. All it takes is practice, dedication and a lot -- and I mean a lot -- of loosening up.

Advertisement

Before you know it, you'll be tasting erotic success -- as well as yourself. But even if you can't manage it, there're plenty of equally exciting ways to expand your masturbatory horizons.

READ: Switch It Up: 7 Awesome Penis Masturbation Techniques.

Here's how to give yourself a blowjob:

Advertisement

1. Limber Up

More than anything, giving yourself a blowjob takes time. Think of it as a long-term investment -- except your return is oodles of sexual gratification possibilities.

If you're like most people, getting your mouth to where it'll do the most (ahem) good isn't something with which your body -- particularly your back -- is familiar.

So, begin by finding how far you can bend without hurting yourself. Remember: Your only goal should be to see how far you need to stretch to reach your penile destination.

Advertisement

My advice when starting on your self-blowing journey is to do your flexing sans erection. It's OK if you want to be hard, but getting and staying erect is sometimes at odds with keeping your back and spine relaxed.

2. Find A Good Position

How you sit, stand, lay, or whatever can make all the difference in how comfortable, and thus effective, your flexing routine will be.

For some, the best position might be sitting with their back against a wall or their bed's headboard. For others, it might be laying on one side or maybe on their back. Your objective is to find one or several positions that are safe and that suit your oral self-pleasuring exercises.

Advertisement

READ: 8 Steps to Giving a Great Blow Job.

Try not to push yourself too much or too hard. Instead, focus on slowly, steadily increasing your range. Given enough time, even a quarter or a half an inch stretch will eventually get you where you want to go.

3. Relax

Giving and receiving pleasure both tend to go over more smoothly when you're relaxed.

Advertisement

Here are some tips to help:

  • Do your daily stretches on an empty stomach. For example, in the mornings or before bed.
  • Stretch beforehand. Most bodies don't handle going from zero to trying to suck yourself off all that well. To avoid having to explain to your doctor how you strained your back, warm yourself up with some basic yoga exercises beforehand.
  • Warm up -- literally. If you're fortunate to have a hot tub or merely a big enough one to lie down in -- or perhaps a great shower -- hot water is a sure-fire muscle relaxant.
  • Work with a teammate. Friends can also lend a hand to the tune of massages before and after your exercises, helping you stay in position and giving positive reinforcement when you need it the most. Immediately kick them to the curb if they're pushy, compare you to someone else or make you feel bad about yourself or what you're trying to do.

4. Use a Toy

Nobody said your oral self-pleasure had to be analog! These toys can help take your session to the next level:

Cock Rings

A great method for keeping you nice and limber and having a firmly stiff penis is getting a couple of cock rings. Famed in song and story for making it far easier to achieve and maintain an erection, along with reducing sensitivity and delaying orgasm, cock rings were practically made for oral self-pleasuring.

Advertisement

READ: 8 Awesome Benefits of Using Cock Rings.

One of my favorites is the Blush Performance Go Pro Cock Ring. Stylish and tight in all the right ways, its no-slip design and body-safe silicone material is satin-smooth and safe for you and/or your partner's body.

Blush Performance Go Pro Cock Ring.Blush Performance Go Pro Cock Ring.

One size doesn't fit all, though -- and luckily you can pick up four for the price of one with Sportsheets Rubber O Ring Four-Pack. Alternatively, for a high-tech vibrating experience, get yourself a We-Vibe Bond.

We-Vibe Bond Cock Ring.We-Vibe Bond Cock Ring.

Penis Extenders

Hate to burst your self-serve oral fantasy bubble, but your shape, size and/or mobility concerns may make blowing yourself extremely challenging, if not flat-out impossible.

That's not to say you can't taste this rainbow's delights, if by proxy. If it's a matter of length, a penis extender like Sportsheets' Banx Hollow Ribbed may be just what you need.

Sportsheets Banx Hollow RibbedSportsheets Banx Hollow Ribbed.


Strap-On Dildos

To avoid having a wobbly and too-tough-to-wrap-your-lips-around penis, a strap-on could be what you need. There's a huge number of them out there, but I'm quite fond of Sportsheets' Strap-On & Silicone Dildo Set.

Sportsheets Strap-On & Silicone Dildo SetSportsheets Strap-On & Silicone Dildo Set.



Conclusion: A Journey, Not A Destination

As sucking your own dick is one of many penis owners' wettest wet dreams, there's a natural tendency to become more than a little obsessive about making it a reality.

Trust me, though, that this sort of attitude only leads to frustration and disappointment. Like everything worth doing, successfully giving yourself a blowjob isn't nearly as important or fulfilling as how much fun you have along the way.

Even if you can't put your lips where you want, trying to blow yourself can be a wildly erotic adventure -- and might reveal a brand new universe of delights for you to enjoy.

Advertisement
Advertisement
M. Christian

M.Christian is an author who has been published in science fiction, fantasy, horror, thrillers, and even nonfiction, but it is in erotica that M.Christian has become an acknowledged master, with stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and in fact too many anthologies, magazines, and sites to name. M.Christian's short fiction has been collected in many bestselling books in a wide variety...

Latest Sex Positions