How to Get Weed Lube If You Can't Get Weed

Enthusiastic cannabis consumers know that it’s one of the few aphrodisiacs truly worthy of the name. The "devil’s lettuce" has been getting people’s motors running for millennia; the Tantrics used it as a sacramental herb, the hippies fueled any number of funky orgies with it, and now, with legalization spreading across the country (and the world!), “just smoke a bowl” is becoming popular sex advice for anyone feeling not-quite-in-the-mood.

Why Weed Works

Weed works, but we’re finally beginning to understand why it works, thanks to new research on sex & the endocannabinoid system. What’s the endocannabinoid system?

When scientists began to investigate cannabis in the '70s, they discovered that the human body is full of neurotransmitters with noteworthy similarities to the active ingredients in cannabis sativa. One such chemical that we all have pumping through our bloodstreams is anandamide (named after the Sanskrit word for “bliss”), which bears a striking resemblance to THC (you know, the stuff that gets you high).

These chemicals and their corresponding receptors play a major role in regulating mood, pleasure/reward triggers, pain management and other involuntary processes, many of which can lead to a great time in the sack. In a way, our bodies are almost perfectly designed to enjoy a sensuous, uninhibited response to pot, so introducing it to your erotic routine seems like a no-brainer - if you like it (not everyone does) and if you can get it without risking arrest (which most people can’t).

Read: Sex on Weed: 7 Ways Cannabis Enhanced My Sex Life

Getting Your Pussy Stoned ... But Not Your Brain

Fortunately, the aphrodisiac effects of good old Mary Jane have inspired some exciting new innovations in sex accessories. You might have heard the buzz about “weed lubes” for women (including the infamous Foria Pleasure, which is available at dispensaries in California and Colorado). When applied to the uniquely absorbent tissues of the vagina, labia and clitoris, cannabis-derived lubes engage with local endocannabinoid receptors to increase blood flow, enhance sensation, diminish discomfort, improve access to orgasm and intensify orgasm, all without the typical psychoactive effects of smoking a joint. (This is great news for people who want to get their plant-enabled groove on but don’t want to eat everything in the house or have panic attacks over strange noises.)

However, for people who live where cannabis is still illegal - which is to say, most of the planet - weed lube is merely an inspiring reason to vacation in California or Colorado. But that isn't exactly practical. So what if you're still weed-lube-curious? Here are a few options.

Making Your Own Weed Lube

This is most feasible for crafty types who live in states with medical, but not recreational, marijuana laws. If you have an MMJ card, you can give it a shot - weed lube in a handsomely decorated jar certainly makes for interesting birthday presents, hostess gifts and party favors.

To make weed lube, you’ll need:

• 1 cup pristine, organic plant-based oil, like coconut, almond or avocado

• 1 cup (7-10 grams) cannabis. (Make absolutely sure it comes from a reputable domestic source that uses organic farming protocols. Smearing concentrated pesticide residue on your genitals is no bueno.)

• Equipment: A rimmed baking sheet, parchment paper, a weed grinder or coffee grinder, a heavy medium saucepan, a candy thermometer, cheesecloth, a funnel, a large jar

The Process:

• Step 1: decarboxylate your herb. That’s a big fancy word for “bake it for awhile”. Cannabis needs to be activated by heat for maximum potency – smoking or vaporizing converts THCA, a non-intoxicating cannabinoid, into THC, and raw weed makes for weak lube. Set your oven to 245ºF, line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper, and evenly spread the cannabis over it. Then, set a timer for 30-40 minutes. Gently shake the baking sheet every 10 minutes so it cooks evenly.

• Step 2: After your weed is baked and cooled, grind it coarsely. If you don’t have a dedicated cannabis grinder, a coffee grinder will work – just make sure it’s immaculate, and be careful not to overgrind, which makes the straining process more of a pain.

• Step 3: Put your oil in saucepan with 1 cup of water (which regulates temperature and prevents scorching), over very low heat. It’s important to keep the heat gentle, so the water doesn’t make for an explosive combo with the oil, and so the weed doesn’t burn, wasting your time and money. Once the oil is melted, add your ground cannabis. Using a candy thermometer, maintain the temperature between 160ºF and 200ºF. The mixture should never boil. Simmer for for two to three hours, stirring occasionally.

• Step 4: Set funnel on top of your jar, line it with a few layers of cheesecloth, and pour your oil through, letting it drain naturally. Squeezing the cheesecloth will force more harsh, funky-tasting-and-smelling plant compounds into your lube.

• Step 5: Chill jar in the fridge to separate any remaining water. When the oil is solidified, remove it and pour the water off. Refrigerate your lube until you're ready to use it, then warm up the jar in a dish of hot water for a few minutes.

• Step 6: Go nuts! Apply your weed lube to your (or your partner’s) labia, clitoris and vaginal opening 10-15 minutes before you expect to get busy, so it has a chance to kick in. And keep in mind that if you’re using it on yourself and your partner wants to go down on you, they should expect to get pretty wrecked. This can be a lot of fun ... or not, depending on their taste. Just make sure everyone involved is informed that there’s THC in the mix. Also, since this is an oil, keep it away from latex condoms and latex or plastic toys.

CBD – The No-Fuss Legal Alternative

If you don’t have access to medical-quality marijuana, or you don’t feel like hovering over a cauldron of green grease for several hours, don't worry, all is not lost! There is an alternative. The answer is that other famous cannabinoid that’s been getting a lot of attention lately - CBD.

CBD oil is the new hotness. People use it for everything from calming anxiety to regulating digestion to easing chronic pain. It’s safe and well-tolerated (if it comes from a reputable source), it’s legal everywhere and it can work wonders for your sex life without making your house smell like an inviting target for John Q Law to barge in.

Much like THC, when applied to your slippery bits, CBD interacts with the endocannabinoid receptors in the pelvis to reduce inflammation, soothe stress, and ease discomfort. That's good news, as painful sex is a widespread problem for women that few people really talk about.

CBD also stimulates blood flow to those erectile tissues that are so important for arousal and orgasm. The body relaxes, and the mind stays present. Whether for solo sex or sex with a partner, adding CBD to the mix can be a powerful and effective gift to the body - and the libido. All this occurs without noteworthy psychoactive effects, but since CBD promotes relaxation in general, you may notice a definite increase in mmmmmmm if you incorporate it into your sex life.

Since CBD is everywhere, it was only a matter of time before it found its way into lube. You can make your own CBD lube using the method above, provided you use a no- or low-THC strain of cannabis (ask your budtender for help). Or ... you could just buy some! Foria’s Awaken (developed after a curious public began asking how to get weed lube outside of California) ships everywhere.

Awaken also features an array of tasty botanicals that synergize with the CBD to enhance its therapeutic qualities. No matter how you go about it, friendly cannabinoids and sex are two great tastes that taste great together.

Want to give Awaken a try? Foria is offering a 15% discount to Kinkly readers. Click here to shop, and enter the code KINKLY15 at checkout.