How Sex Can Change After Starting Testosterone

July 5th, 2023, is my one year T-versary - or anniversary since starting on testosterone hormone therapy! One full year of weekly injections, hormonal changes that are essentially a second puberty, and, most important, one year of progress toward a body that aligns with my gender identity – transmasc non-binary.

Not every transmasc and/or non-binary person takes hormones as part of their transition. Some can’t access hormones even if they want them, and others don’t want to take hormones at all. When I first came out, I didn’t think I’d take hormones either. My transition goals were focused on gender expression – dressing more masculine, getting a “men’s cut” instead of the pixie cuts I’d always gotten while clinging to femininity, and changing my pronouns to they/them. Testosterone seemed like a drastic step to me, and I was fairly sure that facial hair, more body hair and bottom growth would make me more dysphoric than I already was. Because I’m not a woman, but I’m not a man either.

The decision to go on testosterone was actually kind of fate. I have endometriosis, and the symptoms are often treated with birth control pills. When my gynecologist discovered the disease had spread, I was presented with two options – surgery or birth control. I’d just come out as non-binary, and the thought of putting female hormones into my body literally made me sick. I did a bunch of research and discovered that some trans men with endometriosis found that testosterone reduced their symptoms.

So, I talked to my partner, at length, about starting T. My partner is a cis man, and until I came out as non-binary, he’d always considered himself straight. I was terrified that he’d be freaked out about me presenting more masculine and going on T. Luckily, I have an amazing partner. He only had two questions: did I want a mustache and beard and would it change the way we had sex?

I told him that I definitely didn’t want a mustache or beard, and explained that I also wanted to start a medication called Finasteride, commonly called "Fin." Finasteride is a commonly prescribed medication for male pattern baldness, but some non-binary folks use it along with T to limit bottom growth (the enlargement of the clitoris that happens on T, commonly called a T-dick) and facial and body hair growth. I stressed that it was impossible to know how T would change my body and that taking Fin might not prevent the changes I didn’t want. He said if I didn’t care he didn’t care.

A bit wary, I asked how he’d feel if I got a T-dick. He just shrugged and asked if we could still have penis in vagina sex. It had never occurred to me that we wouldn’t still have PIV sex. I’ve always loved PIV sex, and neither my vagina nor PIV sex had ever given me dysphoria. I didn’t think that would change on T, and that’s what I told him. He told me to go for it.

So, I talked to my gynecologist. Although she was a bit shocked because I came out and told her I wanted to medically transition in the same appointment, which was supposed to be about my endometriosis recurrence, she thanked me for trusting her with my transition and said we could start T and Fin right away.

More than a year later, a lot has changed, including my sex life. But it hasn’t changed in any of the ways I thought it might.

To be honest, the changes in my sex life really surprised me, and it made me think a lot about how sex has changed for other people on T. So, I started doing some research and talking to other non-binary and trans folks who take T. Here’s what I found out.

Read: 7 Best Sex Toys for FTM Transgender People with Bottom Growth

Sex After Testosterone: Results *Will* Vary

The biggest thing I’ve taken away from all my research and conversations is that gender-affirming hormone therapy impacts people in highly individual and wildly varied ways. There’s no “normal” or “abnormal” when it comes to the changes that happen in your body, mind and sex life. My experiences are way different from those of the people I talked to and the participants in the studies I read. Sure, there are some common experiences, but even those common experiences don’t happen for everyone.

There’s no “normal” or “abnormal” when it comes to the changes that happen in your body, mind and sex life.

You’re Probably Gonna Get *Really* Horny

When I started researching the changes that happen on T, increased sex drive was the one that came up the most. In one study, 89% of participants reported an increased libido after starting T.

My libido has always been high. When I’ve had partners with higher libidos, sex multiple times a week was the norm.

Before I started T, I was kind of worried about being even hornier all the time, and to be honest, the worry was warranted. Within a few weeks of starting T I was horny to the point of distraction, pretty much all the time. My vibrator became my best friend because my partner absolutely could not keep up, and I can’t blame him. I wanted sex all the time - no one could have kept up with me!

Other people I talked to had similar experiences. One said that they wanted to have sex three or four times a day.

“Puberty was ON!" another person I talked to told me. "My dick/clit was growing and my libido skyrocketed… I would get aroused very easily. I masturbated a lot in the first few years. At around that three- to five-year mark was when my libido was more like it was pre-T.”

Our experiences track with the research as well. One person told researchers that they felt like their sex drive didn’t have “an off button” and another said they were “jerking off multiple times a day.”

This increase in sex drive happens partially because higher testosterone levels often create a higher sex drive, but that wasn’t the only reason people mentioned. The people I talked to said that one of the drivers of their increased libidos was feeling more comfortable in their bodies and with their partners. This sentiment was shared by research participants.

One of the drivers of their increased libidos was feeling more comfortable in their bodies and with their partners.

But, like any side effect of taking T, a sky-high libido isn’t a guarantee. Some people find that their sex drive doesn’t go up at all, and that’s perfectly normal too!

The Sexual Activities You Like Might Change

I really didn’t expect T to change how I had sex, but it has. I’ve always been comfortable with PIV sex; thankfully, that hasn’t changed at all since I started T. But there’s still a lot that’s different about the way my partner and I have sex now.

I like much more aggressive sex than I used to, and though I was fairly adventurous before T, I’m willing to try a lot more than I was before. Like, we’ve started using sex toys together. Before T, my trusty vibrator was for solo sex only. Now, we incorporate the vibe into our sex sessions all the time.

For some people, T completely changes the sexual activities they’re willing to try or engage in regularly. “[Before T] I enjoyed being fisted and anal, occasionally. [After T] anal was the shit!” one person I spoke to told me.