So, you've read or heard about the magical orgasmic qualities of prostate massage and want to try it out. Maybe you’ve tried it (or other forms of anal play) with a partner and are looking to enjoy it on your own.
Or maybe you've never tried prostate massage and are hoping to do a little exploring. Prostate toys are one of the simplest - and most satisfying - ways to do it.
Here we'll look at prostate stimulators and how to use them to (hopefully) achieve that blissful prostate orgasm.
Before you go any further with the technique, let’s talk about the prostate itself. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the prostate is part of the male reproductive system and is located between the bladder and the root of the penis. It wraps around the urethra like a donut. This paraurethral gland is walnut-sized in younger penis-havers and plum-sized in older penis-havers. The prostate gland’s primary function is as a paraurethral gland that produces fluid for semen. This fluid has an alkaline pH that counteracts the acidity of the vaginal secretions, which helps nourish and protect sperm.
The prostate is known as the “male G-spot” or “P-spot” because massaging this area can lead to out-of-this-world orgasms. There are nerves attached to the prostate and the base of the penis that cause arousal when stimulating this highly-sensitive area.
Massaging this area can lead to out-of-this-world orgasms.
“The prostate can become aroused through stimulation, typically through direct or indirect pressure on the gland,” says Martha Tara Lee, D.H.S, M.A., B.A., a relationship counselor, clinical sexologist, and AASECT-certified sexuality educator of Eros Coaching.
So, what’s the difference between a prostate massage versus a penile massage? While both methods can cause orgasms, prostate massages can provide a sensitive, full-body experience that has been likened to a G-spot orgasm, while massaging the penis may lead to a satisfactory, yet, less intense, orgasm. However, both massages lead to a refractory period for penis-havers, although prostate orgasms may require a shorter recovery period.
Aside from an eye-rolling climax, there are other pleasurable benefits of getting or receiving a prostate massage, which can include the following:
Massaging the prostate is very pleasurable for many people, but it has an added benefit: it may reduce your rate of getting prostate cancer. How? When you have a prostate orgasm, it actually oxygenates the prostatic fluid. This causes you to expel biological, fungal, and viral contaminants that build up in the prostate gland over time. Ridding your body of these toxins also increases lymphocyte production. This is believed to help your body fight off cancers, although more research is needed to confirm this.
Some people seek prostate massages because they may relieve symptoms of prostatitis. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIDDK), prostatitis is a painful condition causing inflammation in the prostate and, in some cases, areas surrounding the prostate.
Some people (OK, a lot of people) engage in prostate play just because it's fun. Lilith Foxx, a board-certified sexologist and inclusivity consultant, stated prostate massage can be “mentally and sexually arousing due to its taboo nature.” Any form of anal play can be seen as taboo to many, although it can introduce penis-havers to new sexual experiences that lead to intense orgasms.
Read: The 5 Rules of Anal Play for Straight Men
According to a 2022 study, prostate massages may help penis-havers dealing with sexual dysfunction, like erectile and ejaculatory dysfunction. However, the study found that when it came to ejaculatory dysfunction, the success rate of using prostate massages was 31.9%, suggesting they won't work for everyone and/or other treatments may be required.
According to Dr. Lee, prostate stimulation “can be achieved through various methods, including external massage, internal stimulation via the anus or using specialized prostate toys.”
Here’s a look at both methods.
Externally, the prostate can be stimulated with fingers or a high intensity vibrator. The external prostate is located through the perineum (between the scrotum and the anus), about one inch away from the anus. Press firmly in towards the anus and up towards the root of the penis. You will feel a pleasant pressure as you press in towards the anus without going in. Rub this area firmly in circles until you build an intense pressure that builds as your orgasm grows. The prostate area is the same spot we will be stimulating later with a toy. Repeat the circular pressure and use the other hand to masturbate.
When you are almost to orgasm, you can increase the pressure until orgasm, or you can move on to other types of play. This type of orgasm feels good, but it can actually get better. Having your prostate milked from the inside can feel even more amazing for some.
When you perform an internal prostate massage, you need to be fully aroused. Start by inserting your fingers or an object until you reach three inches inside your rectum. Remember to reach up toward the penis. You will feel for a small ridged spot about the size of a kidney bean.
You can locate the same spot with a toy after you use your fingers to locate the prostate first. Identify exactly where you feel the pressure of the prostate. This way, you'll be able to find it again with a prostate toy.
Ready to give prostate play a try? Here’s a step-by-step guide to how to hit male G-spot.
The first and most important thing when it comes to any type of anal play is to relax. Do whatever you can to relax when you start this journey of self exploration; a nice hot bath, self-massage, mood music - whatever it takes! This is especially important if this is new for you.
Next, clean yourself thoroughly, especially around the anus, to the point that makes you most comfortable. Some people just use a little soap and water, some take it as far as an enema. It's totally up to you. And if you have issues back there, such as anal fissures or hemorrhoids, you should probably put your play on hold until that clears up.
You want to get prepared for two things at this point: masturbation and anal play. Getting aroused is key to not only stimulating yourself, but it also assists with locating the prostate. You will need a few things to assist you: a towel to lie on, something to help set the mood, such as porn, some silicone lube and a prostate toy. (We'll get more into those below!)
Now it's time to start getting aroused. Watch some porn or start doing whatever sexually stimulates you. Get an erection and get yourself aroused to about a level of six (assuming 10 is orgasm).
Now, get out the lube and put some liberally around and in your anus with a well lubed finger. Not sure what lube to use? Check out these tips on which lubes to use for anal sex.
Start inserting your finger slowly to the second knuckle and begin masturbating again. Pull the finger that is in your backdoor out, and re-apply some lube. Keep masturbating and put your finger back inside.
Insert your finger deeper until you feel a little rough lump around three inches inside your rectum and up towards the root of the penis. This is your prostate. You are now on your way to prostate massage with a toy.
Now that you know where your prostate is and what it feels like, it’s time to stimulate the prostate with a toy. At this point, you should be relaxed and aroused. You have used your finger to locate your prostate and get warmed up, and you have a general idea of what you're aiming for.
“Sex toys designed for prostate stimulation can make it easier to reach and stimulate the prostate,” Foxx says. “They can apply consistent pressure and often offer various vibration settings for added pleasure.”
Listed below are steps on how to have a prostate orgasm with a dildo:
Begin masturbating while rubbing your prostate from the outside with your vibrator set to a high setting. Check out these seven awesome penis masturbation techniques while you're at it.
When you're fully erect, lube up your anus and your dildo with silicone lube.
Slowly insert the toy in and up towards your prostate. As long as you are sexually aroused, the prostate will engorge.
Move the toy up toward the spot where you felt the pressure earlier when you used your finger to find your prostate.
Rest the dildo on the prostate and, if the toy vibrates, turn it on. Take your time time to explore the prostate with different sorts of vibrations, pressure and motions. Many people say they can orgasm from prostate play alone, but feel free to include the penis here too.
At the moment you are beyond stopping, put increasing pressure on the prostate. Use a circular motion to help bring you to orgasm.
“Prostate massagers or prostate stimulators are commonly used toys for this type of play,” Lee says. “These toys are designed with a curved shape to target the prostate and often have vibration or other features for added stimulation.” What this means is that you won't have to do much beyond sitting back and enjoying the ride.
To massage the prostate with a prostate massager, follow many of the same steps for a dildo, such as masturbating and applying lube to the anus and prostate massager. Then follow these steps:
Start slowly to allow muscles to relax to insert the prostate massager safely.
Once the prostate massager is inside, take time to find and stimulate the prostate.
From there, try different motions and intensities to help achieve a prostate orgasm. Don’t be afraid to explore or feel rushed to get to the Big O. Each prostate toy has its own strengths and differences, so give yourself time to explore and figure out how to make it work for you.
Don’t feel limited when trying different toys for the prostate, as there are many toys to explore. “There are a variety of sex toys designed specifically for prostate stimulation, including prostate massagers (often curved or angled to target the prostate directly), anal beads (stimulate the prostate when inserted or removed), and dildos or vibrators with a curved design,” Foxx says.
In addition, Foxx recommends fingertip vibrators, as these toys are “inexpensive and multi-use! You slip it onto your fingertip to add additional stimulation during prostate digital penetration.”
When engaging in prostate play, it’s important to ensure all partners are taking safety precautions to prevent injury and other issues.
Below are tips for safe prostate play:
It’s best to thoroughly clean and properly store toys to prevent bacterial growth, as dirty toys can increase the risk of STIs and blood infections. This is especially important for anal play.
“Always use plenty of lube— the anus doesn't self-lubricate,” Foxx says. If you think you're using too much, add even more.”
To prevent pain when inserting toys, make sure the muscles are relaxed around the anus.
“It's likely that the receiver will be overwhelmed or over sensitized with the sensations and overall experience, so they may not have an orgasm or need to stop partway through,” Foxx says.
Read: A First-Timer's Guide to Anal Sex
“Using a toy with a flared base or retrieval cord is recommended for easy removal and to prevent the toy from getting lost inside the rectum,” Dr. Lee adds. In other words, only choose toys that are designed for anal play. Other toys, such as those designed for vaginal use, may not have a wide enough base to prevent the toy from being sucked into the rectum. Trust us when we say that you do not want to have to visit an emergency room for this problem.
Stimulating the prostate with a finger can feel great, but it isn't as easy and as comfortable as using a toy designed for this purpose. For some people's bodies, getting a finger in there can even be impossible.
“Sex toys designed for prostate stimulation can enhance the experience by providing targeted pressure and vibration directly to the prostate,” Dr. Lee says. “They can help individuals explore different sensations and potentially intensify orgasms.”
Here are a few top toys to try for prostate play:
This innovative prostate massager hits four erogenous zones at once: the penis, testicles, perineum and prostate. The internal portion also includes a stroking tip that rocks back and forth over the prostate for an overwhelming experience (in a good way!) The cock ring helps keep a very hard erection going, while the stroker sends you over the edge.
You might wonder why this product's on the list twice. This version is different, but not inferior! Like the version above, this prostate toy hits four erogenous zones but instead of a stroking tip, it includes two powerful vibrating motors.
Want to customize your prostate play experience? The Lovense Edge 2 provides a bendable shaft to customize its angle, and can be paired with an app for customized vibration patterns and unique ways to play. Oh, and did we mention it's packs with two of the largest vibration motors on the market?
This powerful prostate stimulator can be paired with an app, but it also comes with a physical remote, for those who prefer to keep their sex lives off their cellphones. Its adjustable head and flexible base will also help ensure it hits juuust the right spot!
The Nexus Revo Extreme is a bit of a legend in terms of the pleasure it provides. Its extra-wide tip is designed to sit snugly against the prostate and provide a sensation of fullness, while its powerful, vibrating base offers an eye-popping 34 vibration combinations.
If thrusting is more your speed, we recommend the Nexus Thrust, a thrusting dildo designed specifically for prostate play. And, unlike other dildos, once you slide it in, it'll do the rest.
If you're newer to prostate play, the Limba Flex might be where it's at. Its flexible design makes it easy to insert, and allows you to bend it to the shape you need to find your prostate and determine what works best for you. This toy also has a suction cup base and works well in a strap-on harness. In other words, it has lots of options!
Looking for a larger anal plug that targets the prostate? This is the one! The Njoy Prostate Pfun plug provides a nice weight and is curved to offer a firm, targeted prostate massage. It's also beautiful and indestructible, making something you can enjoy for years to come.
Looking to add some Big D energy to your prostate play? Try this automated, vibrating, ejaculating dildo from Evolved. Its unique liquid chamber means you don't have to fiddle with tubes or syringes like other, similar dildos. It's also rechargeable and fully waterproof, making it best in its class.
There are many ways to stimulate the prostate, but adding a toy into the mix only increases the orgasm and gives you variety. Prostate massage is a totally new sensation that can create one of the best orgasms you've ever had. It's also good for your health. So, what are you waiting for?
Oh, and once you find - and love - your prostate. You might be ready to take it to partner play. We have an article of top sex positions for hitting the prostate. (You're welcome.)
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