For cis-men, relationship factors played a small yet unclear role in predicting BACDSA. Other factors that weren’t measured may impact the connection between relationship factors and BACDSA in cis-men. It also could be that they’re more likely to struggle with the other common cause of distraction during sex: performance anxiety.
Struggling with BACDSA? Here's What to Do About It
Getting distracted by your body during sex has been shown to cause problems between the sheets, including lowered sexual:
Learning what causes this distraction gives you a starting point (or two) to improve your sex life. But you must start by loving your body, one part at a time. Why just one body part? Because healing your relationship with one body part can be easier than attempting to love on your entire body all at once. Start with your abs, breasts, genitals, butt, thighs, wherever it is on your body that causes you to struggle.
Look at it. Touch it. Make a list of all the things you like about that body part. Literally, write them down. All these negative thoughts will come up first. Don’t include them on your list. Do this at least once a week. Over time, the things you like become more noticeable, while the criticism gets quieter. Rinse and repeat for other body parts you don’t adore.
Combine Self-love with Mindfulness During Sex
Our brains like to go, go, go! Instead of bemoaning this, harness it! Use all your thinking to focus on (hopefully) yummy sensations. One of my favorite ways to do this is to cycle through my senses. Push yourself to think about five things you see, hear, taste, smell, and feel while you're with your partner. Then cycle through as many times as you need to stay fully present.
Be Gentle with Yourself
Even people with amazing bodies still struggle sometimes with body image. It’s more than OK – it’s totally normal. The goal is to have more body love days than hateful ones, and more sexy times where you’re present than distracted. Any movement in this direction is bound to help you create the more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life you crave.