Enough With the Extreme ‘Manscaping’

Published: MARCH 25, 2015
Men, step away from your personal shaver; your partner may not like the look as much as you do.
I'm not quite sure when this trend started, but I’m just about over men who practice extreme manscaping below the belt. Yes, I’m talking about Mr. Clean Shaven and his friend Bare Balls. I mean, I’m all about the grooming. Who wants to go down on a bush so big and unkempt that you can't even find your way to the goods?

I suppose this is a touchy subject for me because my man insist on keeping his junk squeaky clean, and it creeps me out. I appreciate any man who takes the trouble to prune his shrubs. But when you’re shaving every last bit of pubic hair off, while the rest of you is covered in hair, it’s kinda weird.

I know I should probably be praising the equality of the fact that many women do - and are even expected - to keep things pretty hairless on their end. When it comes to the women we see in the media, a good, old-fashioned bush is pretty much unheard of. (But it can still be sexy. Read more in In Defense of Pubic Hair.)

But why men have jumped on this bandwagon is beyond me. Maybe one too many women had risen after a BJ only to unsexily pull out pubic hair stuck between her teeth. Maybe men go in for a kiss only to have their own pubic hair passed back into their mouths. Maybe it was all these women drooling over hot gay men and their neat, hairless bodies. Maybe someone, somewhere said it’ll make your dick look bigger. Whatever it was, at some point men started shaving their bits and now it’s a pandemic. Hairless dicks just slapping you in the face every time you go down to give a blow job! (Concerned about size? Check out The Big Penis Hoax: Why Size Doesn't Matter As Much As You Think.)

The tragedy.

I’ve heard from men who tell me that they don’t like women who are completely shaved down there. Then there are men who tell me that they don’t "accept" women unless they're sporting a perfect Brazilian wax. Most of the time men tell me they just want a woman who makes an effort to keep things neat down there.

I guess my point is that just because I’m not a fan of it, doesn’t mean that there aren’t women out there who are totally into it. However, I have yet to meet a single woman (yeah, really scientific I know) who is into this whole hairless business. Even Buzzfeed wrote about the wonders of man with hair down there. They even wrote about the horrors of men shaving their chest hair (another thing I’m totally against). I mean, come on guys, we see the regrowth and it ain’t pretty.

So yeah, when it comes to men and their dicks, I advocate the middle path. Not unkempt and yet not creepily clean like some weird baby man. I rue the day when this trend becomes mainstream and we’re bombarded with shaved dicks everywhere. Until then, I am a one-woman army on a mission to keep the shaver as far away from a penis as I can!
Coleen Singer

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at (@ssshforwomen), where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of "Fifty Shades of Grey" and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car...

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