Updated: AUGUST 11, 2017

Trainer is a term for a dominant member of the BDSM community who is responsible for passing on knowledge and shaping the behaviors of others, often known as pupils, within the community. Trainers are knowledgeable about their craft and skilled at educating others. They may use a variety of techniques and philosophies to train their pupils.

More About Trainer

A trainer may be the pupil’s partner or simply a person who trains the pupil for future partners. Trainers may be acquainted with their pupils prior to training or they might be complete strangers.

Typically, it takes at least 90 days of intense training to train a pupil. The first 30 days are used to break old, bad habits. The following 30 days are used to replace old habits with newer, preferred ones. The final 30 days are used to ensure that the new habits stick. This timeline, which is inspired by U.S. military schedules, is only a rough guide. Some training takes a year or even longer.

Trainers may wish to use a variety of techniques, including instructing the pupil how to perform certain tasks, mirroring desirable behaviors, rewarding good behaviors, and punishing bad behaviors. Trainers often make their pupils wear training collars to reinforce the power dynamic that exists between trainer and pupil.

Since trainers use a variety of training methods and philosophies, not every trainer will suit every pupil. It’s important for pupils to select a trainer they’re most compatible with to get the most out of their training sessions.


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