Soft Swap

Updated: NOVEMBER 30, 2021

Soft swap is a term used by individuals who are into the swinger lifestyle or partner swapping to refer to sexual activities in swinger play that do not include penetrative sex. Soft swap swingers have a range of different limits, although penetrative sex is the most common. For instance, some may only want to have sex in the same room as other swingers. Others may be open to a range of activities, including kissing, fondling, oral sex and analingus with other swingers, or they may limit their interactions to just a few. The opposite of soft swap is full swap.

Couples may prefer soft swapping when they are newer to the swing lifestyle because it imposes a limit on the play involved. However, setting penetrative sex as a limit also perpetuates the idea that penis-in-vagina sex is "real" sex, while other types of play are somehow less pleasurable, connective or serious.

More About Soft Swap

It's generally a good idea for swingers to decide whether they are soft swap or full swap before they engage in any sexual activities with other swingers. They should also decide what their limits are and make these limits clear to any playmates. Regardless of what boundaries are set on sexual play in a swinging relationship, it is important to have a serious conversation outside of any sexual play before making this decision. Regardless of couples' comfort levels, there will always be lines one or both people will not be comfortable crossing as swingers and it's important to establish those boundaries.

Full swap swinging can trigger insecurities and carry baggage for many people, so it's important to understand the implications before deciding to take this step. Also note the that type of sexual contact couples decide to engage in with other people determines the potential risk for STI transmission or pregnancy. It is important to take these concerns into consideration as well when deciding what types of play are right for you and your partner.


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