Updated: NOVEMBER 30, 2020

Lifestyler is a term that describes any person who openly adopts a particular alternative lifestyle, especially one that is sexual in nature. The term denotes an individual who lives their alternative lifestyle publicly and openly, outside the bedroom or dungeon. The term is most commonly used within the BDSM community but is also sometimes used by swingers and polyamorous people.

More About Lifestyler

People who identify as lifestylers are open about their sexual preferences and do not mind others talking about them. The mentality of a lifestyler is somewhat like that of an openly gay person, in that a lifestyler doesn't try to hide or "closet" their identity and preferences. Lifestylers do not attempt to pose as “normal” or pretend that they believe in traditional relationship constructs. Instead, they are proud of their differences and see no reason to hide them. They also take pride in belonging to a community of like-minded individuals.

The term lifestyler is often used to distinguish these individuals from players, who keep their sexually alternative preferences hidden behind closed doors or in clubs or dungeons. However, some people believe that individuals can be both lifestylers and players simultaneously.


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