Published: JULY 14, 2022
Reviewed by Kinkly Staff
on July 13, 2022

A fraysexual is someone who feels sexually attracted to strangers or people they don’t know well. Fraysexuals may prefer one-night stands and casual sex to sex with partners, and often say they tend to lose their sexual attraction to their partners over time. Fraysexuals tend to make sexual connections in places where they can meet new people casually, such as nightclubs, bars and customer-focused workplaces.

The term fraysexual is a mix of the base word "sexual," used for sexual orientations, and "fray," an Old English word for stranger. Fraysexuals are sometimes called ignotasexuals. This alternative term uses the Latin word ignotas, meaning unfamiliar, as ignotasexuals are sexually attracted to people who are unfamiliar to them.

Fraysexuals can have any gender or sexual orientation. They may also have any romantic orientation or prefer any kind of relationship style.

Fraysexuals are considered to fall on the asexuality spectrum. They are considered opposite to demisexuals, who only feel sexual attraction towards people they know well and connect with emotionally.

Fraysexuals are often confused with people who fear commitment. However, fraysexual people often want committed relationships. They can be loving, respectful and romantic partners. However, their sexual attraction toward strangers can make maintaining committed relationships more challenging. They may feel restless in relationships as their sexual attraction to their partner wanes and strangers catch their eye. People who fear commitment may also feel restless, but this is usually a response to feeling the relationship is becoming serious, rather than a reaction to waning attraction.

More About Fraysexual

As fraysexuality sits outside societal norms, it can take some soul searching for fraysexuals to come to terms with their sexuality. They may consider the way their sexual attraction to people has diminished over time and whether they felt sexual attraction inside and outside of relationships. Reading about fraysexuality can also help people determine whether this label resonates with them.

As fraysexuals feel sexually attracted to people they don’t know well, they can have difficulty maintaining relationships. The sexual attraction fraysexuals feel towards someone when they meet them typically fades as they get to know them better. This does not mean they necessarily lose romantic interest in someone. In fact, a fraysexual’s romantic interest in someone may grow over time. Someone dating a fraysexual may feel rejected by their partner’s waning sexual interest in them, which can put strain on the relationship.

Open and honest communication can help fraysexuals in committed relationships maintain their connections. They may need to reassure a partner of their commitment to reduce their fears or insecurities about the future of the relationship.

Fraysexuals and their partners might also need to experiment to find the relationship structure that works best for them. Fraysexuals may practice non-monogamy so they can have sex with strangers or acquaintances they’re attracted to. Or, if sex is less important to them, they may be happy in a traditional monogamous relationship.


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