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Financial Domination (FinDom)

Updated: AUGUST 30, 2022
Reviewed by Dr. Laura McGuire
on May 11, 2021

Financial domination - also known as findom, findomme or financial BDSM - is a power-exchange arrangement a submissive/slave consensually enters into with a dominant whose aim is to control them financially. In most cases, this kind of relationship does not involve sex as other power-exchange relationships do.

A financial dominant may humiliate, demean, or consensually blackmail their financial slave in exchange for money or gifts. The dom may also demand money or items they feel they deserve or even become the slave’s money manager.

A financial slave is sometimes called a "finsub," "money pig," "pay pig" or "financial slave." Extorting money or gifts through financial domination is referred to as "money slavery" or "wallet rape." Financial slaves become turned on by this kind of domination and may masturbate in their dom’s company, but only if they receive permission first. In general, though, paying tribute to the dominant is at the heart of the kink, and many finsubs don't want or expect anything in return.

In findom, the dominant dominates the financial slave emotionally, rather than physically as many doms do. In fact, many don’t even spend time in the same room as their slave. Instead, most financial dominants communicate with their slaves online via webcam, instant messaging, or email. Some financial dominants earn huge sums this way. This form of BDSM got a huge boost during the COVID-19 pandemic, when many in the community sought ways to enjoy forms of power play that did not require physical contact.

They may also exchange phone calls or test messages with their slaves. However, some doms and financial slaves do spend time together. For example, they may have a shopping date, where the slave spends money on the dom. A chore date, where the financial slave pays to perform acts of servitude, is another option.

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Financial domination is believed to have been around since at least the 1990s. This form of domination thrived in the growth of online spaces that allowed a safe digital environment for these relationships.

A financial domination arrangement is most commonly seen between a male financial slave and a female dominatrix. However, people of any gender or sexual orientation can participate in financial domination.

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More About Financial Domination (FinDom)

Financial dominants often advertise their services online. They accept a variety of payment methods, including PayPal, Venmo, gift cards, credit cards, direct bank deposits and gifts directly delivered to them. Some financial slaves even give their dominants full access to their savings and encourage them to access these funds as required. Some dominants will draw up a contract with their submissives, which includes a payment plan based on their finances.

People who are financial slaves typically feel their findom is worthy of servitude and all the money and gifts they lavish on them. They also enjoy feeling vulnerable when their findom humiliates, demeans or blackmails them. The blackmail is typically referred to as "consensual blackmail," the terms of which are agreed to beforehand.

Although the power exchange is the crux of a findom relationship, it is important to remember that each aspect of the domination and the limits are negotiated and agreed to by all the parties involved. The terms can be renegotiated at any time and consent can be revoked at any point, for any reason.

As some financial slaves are wealthy, high-powered professionals they get a thrill knowing their dominant could damage their reputation if anyone ever discovered their involvement in financial domination. Many also have partners and families who they could also lose if their interest in financial domination was ever uncovered.

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As they are often in control in their professional and personal lives, slaves find giving up control during financial domination can be freeing. Being a financial slave can also feed a person’s ego, as they know that their wealth and success is what allows them participate in financial domination. Findoms typically enjoy the power they have over their financial slaves. They also enjoy the attention and financial gain their arrangement brings them.

Financial domination can be a healthy fetish for people with the cash to spare to fulfill it. However, a financial domination relationship has the potential to damage the finsub's financial health. Financial slaves should reconsider the arrangement if it jeopardizes their financial security. A financial slave should always be able to meet their financial obligations, such as paying their bills. Many findoms allow their submissives to pay what they can, thus making indulging the fetish more affordable.

While elements of financial domination may seem non-consensual, the arrangement between a findom and financial slave should be consensual and built on trust. Findoms consider what will turn their financial slaves on without exploiting them. A findom and financial slave should discuss their boundaries before beginning financial domination and agree to a safeword that the slave can use if they want the arrangement to stop.

However, it can be difficult for findoms to fully appreciate a financial slave’s financial status. If a financial slave feels their interest in financial domination is putting them under financial strain, they may find speaking to a therapist useful. A therapist can help them understand more about what they are getting from financial domination and reduce their dependence on this fetish to avoid serious financial harm.

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