Brat

Last Updated: September 2, 2020

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Definition - What does Brat mean?

Brat is a term for the BDSM role of a submissive or bottom who maintains a defiant, misbehaving demeanor toward their dominant through words and actions. A brat will talk back, act out and be obstinate to achieve the goal of being disciplined by their top—and then achieve gratification by eventually acquiescing to their dominant’s desires.

A brat’s dominant is sometimes referred to as a brat-tamer. By being mischievous or disobedient, a brat is trying to seek attention and punishment from the dominant partner to fulfill this particular desire and fantasy.

Disobedience can take the form of saucy or snarky reactions, shouting orders, trying to top from the bottom or being physically evasive. In many other respects, the brat role is still a submissive in the traditional sense and the attitude displayed is typically light-hearted and cheeky, not mean or cruel. That, however, can depend on the dynamics of the relationship between the dominant and submissive.

Any person, regardless of gender or sexuality can be a brat and any relationship configuration can feature brat roleplay despite the fact the identity is most frequently associated with women in relationships with male dominants. Taking the brat role complements dominants who are sadists and owners.

Kinkly explains Brat

As with other roles across the BDSM spectrum, communication is key to introducing the idea into a relationship. The desire to be a brat or to control a brat should first be broached in a non-sexual setting.

Bringing up the idea in the heat of a sexual moment can put undue pressure on a partner who isn’t prepared to consider this role play possibility. And if they are definitely averse to the idea, a surprise declaration could really ruin the mood.

Talking through these desires at another time will not only allow everyone to understand the desire and expectations but can, if everyone is agreeable, pique excitement and act as a bit of foreplay.

Some of the most common techniques brats use to egg their brat-tamers on is to question their ability to actually tame. Brats challenge their dominants to act on threats in ways that will actually bring pleasure to the submissive, even if they profess that it won’t.

Phrases such as “Is that the best you’ve got?” “You’re going to have to gag/bind/blindfold me to get your way!” and “You don’t scare me.” are meant to propel the tamer into increased action. A successful brat/tamer dynamic will see both folks deriving pleasure from their roles and the interactions that continue.

All participants will derive as much pleasure from the eventual physical action as they will from the interplay leading up to it. A brat will know just what buttons to push and the tamer will know just the right amount to deny before finally dishing out discipline.

Being a brat does not have to be a temporary or sex-only role. Those who have a 24/7 dominant/submissive dynamic may extend the brat/tamer role to other aspects of their relationship. Being a brat has no specific limitations beyond what is agreed to and can be taken as lightly or seriously as is desired and can even evolve over time.

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