Frotting is the practice of rubbing genitals against another person’s body for sexual pleasure. It usually refers to rubbing the penis, and sometimes the testicles, against someone else. The term frotting comes from the French word frotter, meaning “to rub.” It is also a slang version of the term frottage, which encompasses all non-penetrative sex or outercourse. It is often simply called "frot."
The term is most commonly used in the LGBTQIA+ community to describe rubbing penises together consensually. It is believed the term was coined by gay male activist Bill Weintraub in the late 1990s. He suggested frotting instead of anal sex, which he believed was a deviant activity. Along with other activists, he believed practicing anal sex would decline in the gay community with the growing threat of HIV and AIDS. He also believed frotting was the "true" gay sex, as it involved genital-to-genital contact. Frotting can be enjoyable for trans folks who feel body dysphoria from penetration and/or are experiencing changes in genital sensations as well. Frotting can rise to the level of a kink for some.
Why People Are Into Frotting
People practice frotting for a variety of reasons. Like the original gay activists, people may practice frotting to feel close to someone without penetrative sex. They may not like how penetrative sex feels or worry about the risk of STIs. People who dislike or prefer not to practice anal sex may also prefer the genital stimulation of frotting.
Some people feel frotting is more intimate and affectionate than anal sex, so it is a better form of lovemaking for them. They may also prefer the mutual sensations and the feeling of equality that comes with frotting. This feeling of equality differs from the power dynamic experienced during penetrative sex when one partner tops and the other bottoms. Some couples may also prefer frotting if they are abstaining from penetrative sex to retain their technical virginity or they experience pain or other difficulties having penetrative sex.
While frotters such as Weintraub shunned penetrative sex completely, not all people who practice frotting do. Today, frotting may be the main sexual event or part of foreplay along with other sexual acts, such as analingus and penetrative sex. Some people may reserve penetrative sex for very special relationships, but enjoy frotting in casual relationships. Couples in a sexual rut may also like to try frotting to spice things up.
Frotting and Other Slang Terms
Some people use the term frotting to describe people of any gender rubbing their genitals together. Others reserve the term frotting for rubbing penises together and use the term tribbing for rubbing vulvas together. There are several slang terms for frotting with penises, including sword-fighting, the Ivy League rub, the Princeton rub and doing it Oxford style. Dry humping and grinding are more gender-neutral alternatives to the term frotting. The term frictation may refer to frottage as a whole, but can also refer to penis-to-penis sexual contact. A fetish for frotting is frotteurism.
