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Dining at the Y (DATY)

Updated: SEPTEMBER 27, 2021
Reviewed by Jen Mallia
on September 27, 2021

Dining at the Y is a euphemism for performing cunnilingus. "Dining" refers specifically to performing oral sex on a person with a vagina, an act often referred to as "eating out." The second part of the phrase, "at the Y," alludes to the shape of the receiver's body. The person receiving oral sex looks like a Y, with their legs open and their torso forming the letter’s base.

The phrase Dining at the Y can get used for comedic effect when talking about sex. It can also be useful for discussing sex in a situation where describing sex acts in graphic detail isn’t appropriate. For example, someone might prefer using this term when they’re talking to people who want to hear such things at a restaurant or the office.

Dining at the Y is often abbreviated to the initialism DATY. This abbreviation is commonly seen in online forums, internet chats, and text messages. For example, you might text someone you’re dating, "See you later, can't wait to DATY! ;-)" Sex workers who allow or perform cunnilingus may also use the acronym DATY on their menus. Some sex workers who don’t offer full-service sex offer DATY as it is a lower risk activity when it comes to specific STIs than penetrative sex. Dining at the YMCA is a long-form version of Dining at the Y.

You shouldn't confuse DATY with DATO, a similar initialism that stands for Dating at the Orifice. While DATY is shorthand for oral sex, DATO is short for analingus.

Lunching at the Lazy Y is a similar term to Dining at the Y. Like Dining at the Y, this phrase also references “eating out” and the Y shape of the body enjoying cunnilingus. While Lunching at the Lazy Y is a less common phrase, the terms can get used interchangeably to refer to cunnilingus. Having breakfast in bed is another food-related synonym for Dining at the Y.

More About Dining at the Y (DATY)

Euphemisms such as Dating at the Y are typically seen as fun and playful. Many people feel more comfortable using jokey expressions rather than proper terms like cunnilingus or oral sex. Some argue that the popularity of these terms may indicate a general discomfort with cunnilingus. College students discussing their sex habits and thoughts said fellatio is more common than cunnilingus. They argued that fellatio and penises get celebrated, while cunnilingus is less accepted. Some students perceived vaginas as being dirty or smelly, although they had no similar concerns about penises.

Using a term like Dating at the Y makes people more comfortable with cunnilingus, but it’s worth asking why they are uncomfortable in the first place. Using a term like Dating at the Y perpetuates the idea that cunnilingus should get hidden or disguised to make it more acceptable.

Although Dining at the Y is considered to be a relatively low-risk sex activity by many, it isn't entirely risk-free. There is still a chance of transmitting diseases, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and herpes, via this sex act. The person Dining at the Y may get a sexually transmitted infection (STI) in their mouth or throat if they go down on someone with a genital infection. Someone Dining at the Y with a mouth infection can also pass their infection on to their partner’s genitals. When syphilis, gonorrhea, and intestinal infections get passed on by oral sex, they can spread through the body.

While you can see the symptoms of many STIs, some people with these conditions are asymptomatic. You can reduce the risks by wearing a dental dam. Some sex workers who have Dining at the Y on their menus insist on dental dams. Some sex workers who don’t normally offer Dining at the Y may also agree to the service if the client offers to wear a dental dam. Asking for this service doesn’t hurt, especially if you come prepared with dental dams. However, if the sex worker declines you must respect this decision.

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