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Pillow Princess

Updated: JULY 20, 2022
Reviewed by Kinkly Staff
on July 20, 2022

A pillow princess usually refers to a woman who loves to receive pleasure, particularly oral sex, but does not make an effort to reciprocate. The term is most often used in the LGBTQ community to refer to gay women.

The term pillow princess is believed to have emerged in the 1990s in lesbian publications where "pillow" referred to someone being passive and "princess" denoted a person who expected special treatment or favors. The term expanded to refer to heterosexual couplings around 2010.

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More About Pillow Princess

The term pillow princess can be used in jest, or even by people who are describing their sexual preferences, as in a dating profile. That said, some people also argue that it has some troubling connotations. After all, in consensual sexual encounters, direct reciprocation is not required - not everyone enjoys receiving and performing the same acts. It can also imply that someone who lays back and prioritizes their own pleasure is somehow lazy and undeserving, an attitude that may stem from a patriarchal culture that's focused on male pleasure.

In a dominant/submissive relationship, being a pillow princess might be a natural part of a submissive's role. It has even been argued that a pillow princess is a legitimate sexuality or sexual style.

How sexual partners interact is a matter for them to negotiate. If passively receiving sexual pleasure in certain instances works for both partners, it isn't a problem.

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