Stella Harris
Stella Harris is such a nerd about communication that she wrote a book about it - "Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships". As a Certified Intimacy Educator and Sex Coach, she uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella teaches at venues and conferences across the country (and Canada!) most recently appearing at ConvergeCon in Vancouver, B.C., Dark Odyssey: Surrender in San Francisco, Kinky Kollege in Chicago, and Reed College in her adopted hometown of Portland, Oregon. In addition to her upcoming book, Stella has been busy writing her sex column for the Willamette Week, Humptown!
Learn more at www.stellaharris.net or follow @stellaerotica on Twitter or @stellaharriserotica on Instagram.
Articles by Stella Harris
First Time at Anal Sex? Here's the Ultimate Guide
Anal sex makes people nervous but it's a lot more accessible than you might think. Here's what you need to know before your first time.
An Introduction to the Fascinating World of Predicament Bondage
Predicament bondage. An activity that requires someone to make decisions and pay the price for them. Here's an introduction to predicament...
Anal Play and IBS - Why It Doesn't Have to Be a No Go
For some people, the pleasure and intimacy of anal make working through some additional considerations worthwhile.
Rimming Risks - and How to Play Safer
Just like any other sexual contact, analingus presents a few potential health risks - but there are ways to mitigate them.
The Rise of Online Sex and Relationship Support
The number of high quality resources for sex education is increasing online. You just need to know where - and how - to look for them.
The Future of Sex: Why Sex Will Be Better Than Ever
Recent news has made it easy to get mired in pessimism. But there are lots of good reasons to believe that the future of sex is bright.
Why Edging and Orgasm Control Make for Great Long-Distance Play
Involved in a long distance relationship? Spice it up using edging and orgasm control!
12 Threesome Terms You Need to Know
Seeking a threesome experience? These terms will help you navigate one - and better understand what you're getting into.
Bondage for All Bodies
Bondage is for everyone. Here's how bondage can be used for bodies of all sizes, genders, and abilities.
Scared to Buy Your First Sex Toy? Here's What to Do
Choosing a sex toy is kind of like dating; there are seemingly countless options and you can’t tell what you’re going to get based on just...
8 Bondage Sex Positions from Simple to Extreme!
Many beginner kinksters jump into bondage. Here are some positions for everyone from newbies to experienced rope riggers.
The Ultimate Guide to Having Anal Sex
Anal sex is one of the most common fantasies people have, but getting it right involves some preparation - and practice. We provide...
Your Step-by-Step Guide to Fisting
Fisting is a fantasy for many, but most people don't really understand how it works. You're in luck: Here's your step-by-step guide to...
Can't Get Hard? 8 Tips for a Steamy, Sexy Good Time Anyway
Think that you can't be intimate with your partner because you can't get an erection? Think again. Here are some ideas to boost intimacy...
Why Consent Is More Complicated Than a Cup of Tea
Consent is more than a one time occurrence. Learn how to make sure it becomes an ongoing exchange in your sexual relationships.
Strap-On (Fore) Play
Oral sex with a strap-on may seem besides the point, but it can actually be a an intimate and exhilarating experience for both parties.
Got a Vulva? Here's How to Love Oral Sex
Banish that wandering mind and those fears about smell, taste and the elusive orgasm. Stop worrying and start enjoying!
8 BDSM Tips - With a Twist
Forget about tools and tricks. We delve into the heart of what makes BDSM so hot.
Power Play: The Differences Between Tops, Bottoms, and Switches
Even among the BDSM community, there's some confusion about tops, bottoms and switches. We clear things up.
The Basics of BDSM Negotiation
BDSM is more than just spankings and other naughty adventures. It's also about negotiation to meet needs. Here's how to make sure that...
How Do You Define 'Sex'?
Think you know about sexual activity? Think again! Learn why sexual activity includes more than you think it does.
The Right - and Wrong - Way to Have a Threesome
With multiple partners comes multiple desires and points of view. That can mean excitement and fun, but there's plenty of room for trouble...
Better Sex: 10 Things to Start Doing Right Now
The old saying: bad sex is still good sex. The truth: you can do these 10 things right now to have a better sex life.
Q&A by Stella Harris
How can I check in with my partner after a group experience and make sure we're feeling grounded in our relationship?
After any kind of threesome or group play, it's really important to find a way to have a check-in with your partner. For some people,...
Is there an organic way to facilitate a threesome?
Well, this one comes up a lot. People want sex and threesomes to happen spontaneously and organically. And, well, I won't say that...
How do you navigate communication and relationship if you're a highly sensitive person and the other person isn't?
For starters, I would say that you're on the right track already being in touch with yourself and knowing what you need. If you know...
I want to make my blindfolded submissive partner feel like there's a third person in the room. Any suggestions?
Using fantasy and dirty talk is a great way to incorporate experiences into your sex life that may be either logistically impractical or...
I'm a married man with a growing anal fetish. How can I satisfy it if my wife isn't interested?
Thank you for reaching out with this question. I know it can be a vulnerable topic to talk about. You bring up a lot of points in your...
My partner wants me to punch her and engage in other rough play. How can I do this for her without causing harm?
These are two very big questions, and I’ll do my best to give them both complete answers. First, let me applaud you for being concerned...
Why would you need more than one Dom(me)?
Why have more than one Dom(me)? For the same reasons anyone has more than one partner. Many people who are polyamorous or who engage in...
I'm considering a career in sex education. Where do I start?
“You’re a sex educator? That’s so cool! How can I do that?” I hear some variation of this question about once a week. And I get it. Sex...
I was sexually assaulted. Now sex with my boyfriend is triggering panic attacks. What can I do?
I’m so sorry you’ve gone through these awful experiences, and I’m very glad to hear that you’re already in therapy and that you’re...
