Checking In and Aftercare Are Mandatory
During play, emotions can be heightened. That can lead to an intense period after a session is done. Maybe you get clingy. Maybe your partner expresses how much they miss you and need you for several days after a hot session in rope or leather.
While expressions of love and caring are usually welcome, it is important to be aware of these intense emotions and check in with each other to ensure that "bottom drop" or "top drop" does not lead to further misunderstandings or become toxic.
For example, if a submissive partner starts texting their Dominant constantly the next day, needing emotional reassurance, but the Dominant partner says no or does not respond immediately because they're seeking out their own emotional balance, this can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. Usually, the truth of the situation is simply that both partners are recovering from the session and are approaching recovery in different ways. (Tops/Dominants get "top drop," too, and can feel just as emotionally and physically drained as submissives!)
Read: Packing Your BDSM Emotional Survival Kit
The practice of dynamic consent comes in here as well. What do you need? What does your partner need? Try to negotiate what works for both of you during recovery in terms of aftercare; maybe the partner needing the emotional reassurance can look forward to a nighttime text or phone call wishing them sweet dreams and rest and a wonderful morning by the partner who also needs time to recover. This suggestion can meet the needs of both partners. Maybe the person texting wants to know that the play meant something or that they caused their partner pleasure. Find out what's being asked - and why - and go from there.
Be sure to check in not only right after the session ends, but also a day after and/or the day after that. Ask them how they're doing. Be open to communication but be aware that you're both probably in a period of emotional and physical recovery. Treat yourself and your partner with compassion and communicate on a way to check in that works well for the both of you.
Do some self-care. Whether that's treating yourself to a bubble bath or taking time to meditate, engage in whatever self-care options are healthy and work for you. And be sure to communicate with your play partner.
This sounds like a lot to take in, and it's tempting to just want to dive right into play. However, these tips can help your play sessions be even better - and end in fewer hurt feelings or other more serious issues.
So, take care of each other - and enjoy your playtime!