Welcome to the wild, wonderful world of Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism—BDSM for short! This week's Sex Stories We Love sheds some light on what some consider the darker realms of sexuality...and what others consider an average Tuesday night!
In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we're looking at the wild, wonderful world of BDSM! You know, what some of us consider an average Tuesday night!
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As BDSM has become more popular and understood, we're starting to see just how many different ways alternative sexuality can impact our lives. What was once considered deviant is becoming considered as a means to heighten enjoyment in both the bedroom and of our overall personhood. This touching story of a woman's discovery of domination and her subsequent health crisis tells an important tale of how sex can have a significant affect on our well-being. I never thought that the normalization of medical instruments through BDSM-related activities could play such an important role in maintaining someone's health, but this wonderful story is a testament to the power of sex. As it turns out, BDSM is not only potentially beneficial for our bodies, but also our mental health—particularly if you're a Dominant or have interests in domination. Recent research suggests that people who like flogging, spanking, and doing all sorts of other things to willing and consenting submissives have personality traits that lead to greater personal and sexual satisfaction. There's a lot to take in and understand in these findings, but they're well worth the read. Do it—now! Are you getting intrigued by the wide world of BDSM? Well, if you're new to this realm of pleasure and pain, you must understand there is a learning curve. We all need to learn about sex, and that is a lifelong process. The same goes for BDSM. One of the best ways to dip your toe into the BDSM waters is to sign up for one of the many classes experienced practitioners are offering all over the world. You can learn the ropes! You won't be tied down to anything you try! The teacher might still believe in corporal punishment! Okay, enough is enough. I apologize. Forgive me, please? I'm begging you.
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When sex is discussed in pop culture, it's almost always through a North American / European lens. BDSM is no different. Stereotypes abound. Indian people are associated with the Kama Sutra. Japanese people are associated with rope bondage, hentai, and used panties. White folks are most often attached to BDSM. However, as with many other types of sex, BDSM is practiced all around the world, and players continue to come up against the same cultural and acceptance obstacles. Hong Kong is a rather conservative city, but there is a thirst and desire for alternative sexual expression that is now being sated by BDSM classes. Okay, now you're getting more intrigued, experienced, and, well, ready to get your knots and cuffs on. How do you find someone who is also interested in your BDSM interests and fantasies? Well, just like anyone else, you can hop on the best apps to seek the dominant/submissive/slave/master/whatever of your dreams. It is important that these apps are available. Sure, BDSM (and fetishes and paraphilias) are becoming more understood, but it can still be difficult to be out as someone who is into these activities. I can't advocate for any of these apps or sites, but please feel free to report back with your experiences! Finally, choking can be a pleasurable part of BDSM play, but NOT if it is without consent. Is reckless porn a growing problem for those inside and outside of the BDSM scene?
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Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the Year, V1 to rave reviews. He's also the winner of the 2010 TNT Favourite Adult Journalist Award and one of Broken Pencil's 50 People and Places We Love past co-host and producer of Sex City. Jon co-produced the queer literary festival Writing Outside the Margins with Xtra Magazine for two years. You can find him on Twitter at @Sexinwords.
