How to pleasure

9 Tips for Playing Along the Edge of Orgasm

Published: NOVEMBER 15, 2018 | Updated: AUGUST 29, 2021
Some things in life are all about the journey, not the destination, like the delicious sensations of edging closer and closer to an orgasm you’re not sure you ever want to reach.

Some things in life are all about the journey, not the destination. The sights of great hike. The narrative of a compelling novel. The delicious sensations of edging closer and closer to an orgasm you’re not sure you ever want to reach.


And what a journey that can be! As the name implies, edging is the sexual choice of moving yourself or a partner closer and closer to the precipice of orgasm before slowing down and then ramping up the whole process again. It can produce monumental orgasms as well as being significant for self care.

However, it is often misunderstood. Some folks just don’t get why you wouldn’t want your sexy-time journey to travel a linear path to orgasm fulfillment. And hey, that might be what works best for them. However, if you think your tour of titillation might be a little more of a multi-stop meander, then edging just might be the sensual sojourn you’re looking for.

To truly explore the awesome sexual opportunities that edging offers, I spoke with some friends to get their take on how edging can work for different bodies, both on your own or with other people involved. Jason Armstrong is the author of "Solosexual: Portrait of a Masturbator" and Chris Maxwell Rose is a sex educator at


Without further ado (ironic, given we’re talking about prolonging things here), we can no longer hold back on these nine tips for playing along the edge of orgasm.

Read: Female Edging Techniques - Intensify Your Orgasm

Spread Out Stimulation

"Don't get locked into one spot on the clitoris or you risk hypersensitivity. Spread out your touch and stimulate every part of the sexual system," Rose says. "Get creative and learn techniques to keep things interesting as you build peak after peak of arousal."


Flaccid Is Fun!

"There is a general misconception that people with penises need their cocks to be hard the whole time through a sexual experience to enjoy pleasure. This is just not the case. The penis is wonderfully sensitive when flaccid as well. Alternating periods of erection and flaccidity can heightening edging and make the experience last much longer," Armstrong explains.

Distract with Dirty Talk

There are many ways we can put our mouths to great use during sex; talking is one of the hottest. It can also make edging a squirmy delight. When edging with a partner, take moments to interrupt your play to just talk to each other. Share fantasies, describe what you’re going to do next or even recall a past encounter that was amazing. Get aural without touching for maximum effect.

Minimize Anxiety

"If you are too concerned that you will climax before you wish, this anxiety can drain all the fun out of edging," Rose told me. "Even if you are playing with erotic power exchange and orgasm control, don't take edging so seriously that you feel like a failure if you orgasm too soon or without permission."


Chatting Online with Like-Minded Individuals

"Edging on your own doesn’t mean you have to do it alone! There are many forums out there where you can find other individuals who are also enjoying edging at the exact same time as you," Armstrong says. "Imagine connecting with another hot person over chat or video link who is also teasing and tempting their body to the edge? The shared experience can be amazing!"

Take Turns

Another great way to take edging to the extreme is to take it out of your hands and put the power of pleasure in someone else’s. There is a big difference between the feelings someone else fills your body with and what you can produce on your own. You have much less control over the ebb and flow of orgasm when someone else is in charge. You can learn ways to distract away from their touch or they can deny you touch to cool things down. And then, you can take it to a whole new level by switching off and taking turns. You can mix things up by bringing sex toys into the mix, too. Masturbators and vibrators are fun to use on partners - products like those from Kiiroo can even be used from across the room for a very sexy show!

Read: Stamina Training: The Best Way to Last Longer in Bed


Breathe, Baby, Breathe!

"Most people hit a wall when it comes to arousal, where it doesn't seem like any more stimulation could possibly be pleasurable," Rose explains. "If you start feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or overstimulated then it is time to focus on your breath. Take long deep breaths and notice what happens to your arousal. Most people find that relaxed breathing will "spread out" their arousal and create space for even more pleasurable stimulation. Ready to go for the full climax? Switch to a faster breath pattern and supercharge your orgasm!" (Want some tips on how to make things last longer? Read How to Party Like a Cockstar.)

Playing with Precum

"This magical fluid can be both extremely exciting and a great way to edge. In some instances, rolling precum around the head of a penis can definitely intensify pleasure and produce orgasm," Armstrong says. "However, it can also work as a great technique to move sensation away from the penis as a whole and concentrate it to a specific pleasure. This can also slow down the desire to orgasm as that specific pleasure takes over!"

Press Play and Pause with Porn

If you and your lover(s) are more visually-oriented, bringing some carnal cinema into the mix can provide a great physical mechanism to start and stop your edging. Pick some porn that includes acts that you really love. Watch a particularly compelling scene and then pause the film. Now you get to play! Have that fun until you need to stop - and then pick another scene to watch! Having an action trigger can help you stop a runaway train of desire. Oh, and you might want to avoid scenes that show orgasms!


Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

Latest Sex Positions