How to pleasure

8 Steps to Giving a Woman Amazing Oral Sex

Published: MARCH 14, 2013 | Updated: MARCH 30, 2020
Forget the jackhammer tongues and clumsy kisses; you only need a few key moves to make a woman go wild.

Did you know that just 30 percent of women are able to orgasm through vaginal sex? What that means is that in order to really please a lady, loving partners need a few more tricks up their sleeves. Oral sex is a favorite for many women, but doing it right isn’t as simple as diving down. Read on to discover how to blow her mind with incredible oral sex. (Looking for tips on how to please a man? Read 8 Steps to Giving a Great Blow Job.)


Take Your Time

A tongue might be soft and wet, but it still doesn’t feel good against a dry vagina. Taking your time to kiss and caress other parts of the body is essential for getting her warmed up. The same goes for flavored lubricants: They're fun and helpful, but they're not substitute for warming her up the good, old fashioned way - with foreplay.

Once she’s really hot...hold back. Don't make the mistake of going down too fast. And take the oral play itself slowly, too. All too often, oral sex serves as an element of foreplay, a prelude to sex rather than the main attraction. It’s true that oral sex is an effective way to turn a woman on, but she’ll be disappointed if you stop abruptly. Take the time for an extended session and she’ll be begging for more.

Keep the Compliments Coming

While most women love oral sex, many are a bit self-conscious about the act. Women often worry about things down there. Does it look OK? Smell good? What about the taste? In reality, many men (and women) love going down on their partners. If you want her to really relax and enjoy herself, tell her how much you love spending time between her legs.


Find the Right Position

Finding the right position is crucial - aches and pains are far from sexy. You can use cushions, furniture or dedicated sex props to help get both of your nice and comfy - whatever it takes to stay with it for the long haul. (Check out some of the great sex furniture out there in Sex Furniture: Love Your Home.)


The Tongue Matters

There are two ways a lover can use his or her tongue: There’s the soft, flat tongue that probes gently, or the more insistent, rigid tip with its stronger touch. Many women prefer one of the two, while others like it when their partner mixes things up. Communication is the best way to figure this out.

Overall, the best oral sex is varied. Kiss, suck, swirl, lick, and probe. Just don’t make the mistake of "fence painting." If your tongue goes up and down like a paintbrush, she’ll be looking at her watch before long. (Want more tips? And pictures?? Check out Oral Sex That'll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing Orgasms.)

Celebrate the Clitoris

Think of the clitoris as a miniature penis. It has four times as many nerve endings as the head of a penis, and they’re crammed into a much smaller space. So, as you can imagine, when it’s touched in the right way it feels incredible. Just as a good blow job should focus on the penis, amazing cunnilingus should center on the clitoris. Just be sure to start gently - we did mention that it's highly sensitive, right? (Learn more about this amazing piece of the female anatomy in Holy Clit, Batman! 9 Amazing Facts About the Clitoris.)


But Not Just the Clitoris

While the clitoris should be the focal point of oral sex, don’t neglect the other sensitive spots below a woman’s waist. Nuzzling her labia and softly kissing her inner thighs will drive her wild. Tease her, kissing all but the clitoris, and only go there when she’s begging for it. All that anticipation can be delicious! (Read more about the importance of the tease in The No.1 Secret to Female Orgasm.)


Spice Things Up

In its most basic form, all that oral sex requires is two willing partners. That, in itself, can be pretty exciting. However, introducing other elements can greatly enhance the experience. Women who enjoy penetration might love the addition of their partner's fingers or a vibrator. You could also try applying a warming lubricant or holding an ice cube in your mouth to play with different sensations.

Shut Up and Listen

You can read all the sex books and tips in the world, but the reality is that all women are different. That means that what leaves one hot and bothered might leave another just, well, bothered. The best way to learn to drive your partner wild is to listen not only to what she says, but what her body says as well. Pay attention to the way her body moves, the way she breathes and how she responds to your touch. And if something appears to be working, please don’t stop!


Oral sex, or cunnilingus, has been called an art. What that means is that for most people, learning to do it well will take time and practice. That doesn't sound so bad, now does it?

Lauren Katulka

Lauren Katulka is a happily married freelance writer living on Australia's Central Coast. When she's not playing around with words she loves roller skating, spending time in the kitchen, watching indie films and cuddling her Devon Rex cat, Gizmo.

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