8 Steps to Giving a Great Blow Job

Our mouths are absolutely incredible—wonderlands of sensation and ability. We can use them to take the most exquisite flavours and speak the most inspired thoughts. Hidden inside is the tongue, a muscle of incredible strength and agility.

It is no surprise that humans have incorporated the many opportunities the mouth offers into sex. And even less shocking that fellatio, most incongruously known as blowjobs, are a favoured and beloved sex act to receive.

Some might look at blowjobs as the simple act of mouth on penis and a different version of thrusting-like intercourse. But they can be so much more than that! And because of the great variety blowjobs offer, they can be an intimidating act for those who haven’t used their mouth that way before.

If you’ve been curious about blowjobs but unsure where to start, check out this step-by-step guide to giving a great blowjob!

First Things First: There’s No Actual Blowing

It’s true. Does anybody really know why a blowjob is called a blowjob? The origins are unclear, but to clear up any misconceptions before you start: you won’t be “blowing” at all unless you want to incorporate the sensation of blowing air onto your partner’s penis to mix things up.

Step 1: Oral Communication

Communication is the key to great sex. Discussing ways to play that are new-to-you or new to you-and-your-partner before actually attempting them will allow you both to ask questions, set boundaries, share likes and dislikes and offer up fantasy scenarios. While a blowjob might look like relatively straightforward sexy fun, the act and aspects of it can bring up a number of important questions and considerations—especially if you’re new to the blowjob scene.

Here are some details you both should discuss before embarking on a downtown train:

• Will we be using a condom?

• Should a shower take place beforehand?

• Am I giving you head for our mutual pleasure or as pleasure for you?

• Do either of us have any specific blowjob desires (perhaps introducing a toy or a flavored lube) we want to try?

• How will we handle orgasm and ejaculation?

These jumping off points will likely lead to more thoughts and questions as you chat more about your upcoming oral adventure. While there are some serious considerations in there, this is also an opportunity to tease each other and build excitement.

There’s a reason blowjobs receive so damn much attention. For sure, they feel delightful for the person receiving. However, if the person giving the blowjob is also engaged and turned on by the action—and doesn’t feel like they’re just performing something pleasurable only for their partner—then the entire scene can be one of incredible arousal.

Step 2: Know Porno Blowjobs Aren't That Realistic

Blowjobs have attained near-mythic status as a sex act. They are the stuff of legend and have been continually romanticized. And, absolutely, they can feel great. And, absolutely, they can feel great to provide. But, when it comes to embarking on your blowjob adventure, it is important to consider what you want to happen with what might actually happen.

Whether you’ve heard about blowjobs from friends and lovers, seen them in movies or porn, read about them in books or step-by-step guides online, everyone is going to have a different reaction to actual fellatio.

• Will I like the feeling of a penis in my mouth?

• Will I like the taste of their precum and/or ejaculate?

• Will my partner enjoy it?

• Will I gag if their penis is too big?

• Will giving a blowjob turn me on?

The answer to all of these is...maybe. Until you try it, you won’t know. When you share blowjobs with different partners, those answers might change.

Step 3: The Approach

Okay, so you’ve put your heads together on the topic of head and all systems are go! Depending on what you learned in your chat, you might already have a plan. Do you want to lay your partner down on the bed, slowly strip off their clothes, caress their body and slowly, but surely, tease them until you’re ready to take their penis in your mouth? Will you use a vibrator against their perineum to add to the sensation, or try an air pulse vibrator along the frenulum (but note that can be very sensitive!)? Or do you want to back them against a wall, sink to your knees, pull their cock out and stuff it into your face?

Here’s the thing about blowjobs: just like fingerprints, no two are alike. There are countless ways to give a hummer! It really is one of the more versatile sex acts. In bed? Definitely. In the shower? Steamy! On the couch, in a chair...everywhere else that we dare? Do it here, do it there, do it with flare! In a variety of positions? Heck yeah! Gentle? Nice. Rough? Hot! In public? For sure, just be careful, considerate and don’t get caught!

Step 4: Best Blowjob Positions

Okay, okay, let’s rein things in a little bit. Sure, blowjobs are super versatile, but if you’re just starting out with fellatio and not quite a full-on cock gobbler, then finding a mutually-comfortable position is essential for acquainting yourself with this new, sexy fun. Because here’s the thing frequently forgotten about giving head: depending on how you do it, it can be a strenuous activity!

It is important to remember that even if you’re incredibly turned on by providing oral pleasure to your partner, you’re less likely to enjoy (and potentially repeat) the experience if you’re uncomfortable or in pain. When you’re deciding which position to use for your blowie, think about the parts of your body that are most durable. You’re going to be involving your jaw, your neck, your shoulders and your arms for sure. Other body parts that can come into play are your knees and back. Let’s consider some common blowjob positions and how they’ll impact your comfort.

• Kneeling on the floor: Whether your partner is standing or sitting, kneeling down in front of them for some oral action is a blowjob classic. It will allow you to fully explore their penis (and surrounding genitals) with your mouth and hands to find the most sensitive spots. However, this position puts a lot of stress on your knees—even if you add pillows to kneel on.

• Doggy on a bed: This is another tried and true favourite, but it can be hard to maintain for a long time. WIth your partner laying on their back, you position yourself on all fours beside them or between their legs. Again, you’ll have wonderful access to their body, and your knees will thank you, but in this position you need to consider your shoulders and neck. You won’t have as much freedom to play with your hands, as one arm will always be needed to hold you up. Switch that arm up from time to time to relieve shoulder pressure. And depending on how vigorously you like to suck cock, you could feel some strain in your neck from bobbing above the penis for too long.

• Head on their belly: If this is your first time giving a blowjob, this is my recommended position. Have your partner lay on their back and then you rest your head on their belly just above their penis. You’ll be able to touch and hold and stroke their cock with one hand while also licking and sucking it. You’ll almost be spooning the lower part of your partner’s body! One drawback some will note—and it is a big one—you’ll lose the option of eye contact. Locking eyes can be both incredibly intimate and intensely erotic during oral sex. Something to think about.

For more oral sex positions, check out our Sex Postions playlist!

Step 5: How to Use Your Tongue for a Blowjob

Now that you’ve considered blowjob logistics, let’s get down to the brass tacks: your mouth. Some folks wonder how a mouth feels different from other types of penetration. Well, it sure does! Yes, a vagina is warm and wet. Yes, and anus is also warm and has a tight ring, much like lips. But what do neither of these have? The versatility and creativity that a tongue offers!

Blowjobs are often depicted, in porn and, more discreetly, in movies and TV, as a strictly up-and-down mouth piston situation. Now, that can feel good, sure, however, a true mouth sex artiste will tell you that a blowjob goes to new heights when the giver gets their tongue involved.

• Lick the entire penis up, down and already before you even take it into your mouth.

• Concentrate tongue action on the frenulum, meatus (urethral opening) and glans in the beginning of a blowjob.