If leather and latex aren't your cup of tea, you might feel at a loss for ways to express your kinky style while frolicking out and about. And I feel you! When I first discovered BDSM, the aesthetic of the scene had me thinking I might be barking up the wrong tree.
“Damn, I’m not really into latex and there’s nooooooooooooo way I can compete with those assless chaps. WTF am I gonna wear to the dungeon?”
Fortunately, there’s a whole host of sexy options out there. If you’re vegan, desire a more breathable material, or are simply seeking some variety, here are some ideas for leather and latex-free ways to sport your love of kink.
Every time I've ever boldly busted into the bedroom in lingerie, I've gotten pretty much the same response.
"Damn, this lacy little number is sexy ... now take it off."
Not quite the appreciation I was hoping for. This lacy little number cost a pretty penny, dude. You could at least pretend to gawk a bit longer!
My solution for getting more mileage out of those precious purchases? Wear them out to fetish parties! Your kinky friends will gush and fawn over your lovely lingerie, even if your partner was too eager to rip it off you to ever take a good look. Lace, fishnet, or other sheer materials are great choices for BDSMers seeking a softer style.
Wanna mix things up? Set yourself (or your partner) up with a lingerie subscription. That way you'll have something hot to wear on the regular.
Corsets come in a variety of materials and are classified as lingerie by some, but come with the distinct purpose of modifying the shape of the wearer.
Squeezing your waist to nail that hourglass form is actively uncomfortable, but can add an element of fun for masochistic types. "Sit up straight, you lazy sub!"
Just be careful not to tie your laces too tight unless you and your partner are aiming for breath play and know what you're doing. Few things will freak out your partner more than you passing out unexpectedly.
Harnesses are all the rage in kinky fashion these days. They're strappy, form-fitting and sexy as fuck.
They're also functional, which I didn't grasp until an athletic play partner hoisted me up for sex while standing. He was slick with sweat and wearing nothing more than a chest harness. He knew what he was doing, but I'll admit, part of me panicked as I attempted to grip his shoulders to keep myself upright.
Jesus, if I accidentally slip while his cock is inside me, it could destroy us both!
That's when my hands ran across his harness and my fears evaporated. I pulled myself up against his chest and looked him in the eye for a shared moment of filthy joy. "This thing is fucking awesome!"
Bondage serves an essential purpose during play, but there's no reason rope can't be woven into an outfit too. Shibari fans love the practice for its aesthetic qualities and will definitely appreciate your ropey fetishware during a kinky night out.
You'll either have to be great at self-tying or know a talented rope top pull this off smoothly, but the sky's the limit when it comes to shibari design options. Wearing your top's work is a beautiful way to honor their skills.
If you go this route, be sure to come equipped with heavy-duty scissors for emergencies just like you would for any rope bondage scene.
Nothing says "SPANK ME, YOU FOOL!" like a slutty schoolgirl outfit. Pet costumes, maid dresses and police uniforms complete with handcuffs are also fair game.
No matter your role of choice, there are plenty of sexy costumes available on the market these days, so get down to your local fetish shop and invade their dressing room for a while.
Some of these outfits are even better when paired with hot lingerie - it's a great surprise when your partner takes a peek underneath!
Collars, Clamps and Other Accessories
You might be thinking, “Wat? Wear a costume to a play party and cover myself head to toe?? Hell no!”
I hear you loud and clear. Ideally, I prefer to strip down at fetish events. If you feel the same way, you might consider the accessory-only approach. There are tons of non-leather/latex items out there for kinksters, like collars, clamps, cuffs, hoods, masks and more.
Of course, you can also rock these goodies as hot ganache to top off your outfit if you prefer to stay covered. You're a proud, independent pervert and you don't need anyone's permission. Do what works for you!
You're a proud, independent pervert and you don't need anyone's permission. Do what works for you!
Want even LESS poppycock separating your skin from the outside world? Body paint is a creative, sexy way to fool first-glancers into thinking you might be wearing clothes like a law-abiding citizen. Enjoy observing while it dawns on them how absolutely silly they were to underestimate you, you kinky fucker.
Need inspiration? Check out the incredible Equatorial Guinea Bodypainting Festival for ideas!
Some of us are so damn committed to our hedonistic ways that we want to show it off permanently! Tattoos, piercings, scarification and branding are all kinky options.
I'm not your mom, but since she's not here I'll state the obvious: Don't make any permanent changes to your body you might end up regretting, like engraving the name of the dom you started playing with two months ago into your skin. Your ma raised you better than that, so don't disappoint her with your impulsive masochism. (*snooty finger wag*)
As you can see, the world of kinky fashion is your oyster, whether you dig the leather/latex vibe or not. The important thing is to sport whatever sexy gear makes you feel confident and amazing. You do you, boo boo!
Do you need ideas for your next steamy scene? Take our quiz to get a personalized scene built just for you!
If you're just tipping your toe into the world of BDSM, you may be unsure where to even start when it comes to planning out a scene.
We made this quiz to provide you with your next, or first, BDSM scene based on your own tastes and desires!