Read: How to Get Better at Sex
Offer Water or Snacks
My longest friends-with-benefits relationship was when I was in college — and Nick’s* love language was definitely food. That translated to our more casual relationship by way of freshly cooked bacon after every romp at his place. After sex, he would fry up some bacon before he either walked me home or we passed out in his bed. It made me feel cared for and like I wasn’t just an object of pleasure for him (which had previously been my experiences with casual sex).
Sex can definitely deplete your strength and energy levels — your heart rate increases and you burn calories — so hydration and food are great forms of aftercare. Having an easy snack like chips, ice cream, or fruit on hand, for this reason, allows your partner(s) to feel taken care of and appreciated.
Offer Transportation If You Aren’t Having a Sleepover
If a sleepover isn’t on the table for whatever reason, the person hosting should always make sure their casual cutie has a safe way home. I get it, sometimes you have to work early in the morning and want to be able to have your routine without someone new in your space. But having to get out of bed and commute home after sex can feel jarring.
Allow time for snuggles or connection before offering your partner(s) a ride home. Maybe you order them an Uber or Lyft — if they drove, you can offer to walk them down to their car.
Read: Packing Your BDSM Emotional Survival Kit
Sweet Texts the Following Day
Giving yourself time and space to reflect on your experience allows for a sense of afterglow — sharing sweet affirmations or sexy memories extends aftercare into the following day(s). Continuing positive emotions long after a sexual experience will not only allow for a more pleasurable and intentional relationship with your casual cutie — but it can also increase trust for vulnerability. Talking about sexual desires and boundaries can be difficult for so many of us and relationships with more trust and less stress/anxiety allow people to feel safer to talk about sex in an open and honest way.
Communication allows for better sex, and who doesn’t want that?
*Name changed for anonymity.