Kink and sex are once again forming an intriguing venn diagram with “progressing” sociocultural mores. From Netflix to the evening news, the when, what, and why of getting off are again on the mainstream conversational table.
5 Steps to Straight Guy Comfort with Anal Sex
Thus, it’s probably as good of a time as any to discuss the absolute need for cisgendered heterosexual men to, if they wish — and yes, as I adore — to feel free and encouraged to participate in consensual anal play. (Read The 5 Rules of Anal Play for Straight Men.)
Of the many variations of kink that are being over-discussed, it’s inarguably fingering, fisting, pegging, probing or just experiencing a good old fashioned session of love-making in one’s anal cavity that causes the most psychological -- probably even more so than presumed physical — discomfort. (Read Pegging: Everything You Need to Know to Make It Pleasurable for You and Your Partner.)
If intrigued by the possibility, but for whatever reason on the fence, here are five wonderful and wholly logical reasons why it is definitely a worthwhile idea to engage in this uniquely pleasurable and fulfilling behavior.
1. Your Ass Is A Nerve Center
It is a scientific fact that the membranes attached to your sphincter muscles -- the ones that control the opening and closing of the anus -- are mainly comprised of a series of hyper-sensitive nerve endings. Furthermore, those nerve endings are highly responsive to pressure.
Are you at a point in your sexual maturation where you “have seen and done everything under the sun,” but have yet to attempt anal sex? It is likely the one thing worth trying above all other things worth trying that could be linked to rejuvenating what could be, for you, a repetitive yes, but quite mundane sexual existence.
2. Anal Orgasms? Yes, They’re Real...And Really Amazing
The prostate, when massaged, becomes a part of an oft-debated, and therefore, let’s just say it, magical notion — the anal orgasm. No, your anus does not leak seminal fluid. But, it is the fact that the prostate -- a small walnut-sized gland that produces prostatic fluid, one of semen’s main components — can be stroked to arousal, then emit seminal fluid.
The “anal orgasm?” The process of pleasuring the prostate to the point where it emits seminal fluid into the prostatic (or pre- penile orgasm) section of the urethra, but not having the urethra engage in the full external expulsion of seminal fluid.
3. Anal Health Is Body Health
Engaging in the arousal, hyper-stimulation, and/or general massage of the muscles, nerve endings, membranes and glands inside the anal cavity can lead to better physical functionality of the male body. Foremost, anal sex has a direct correlation to increasing blood flow in the pelvic floor.
Yes, in layman’s terms, it helps you achieve a firmer erection.
As well, there’s engaging in regular anal stimulation as a flushing system for internal toxins which could cause prostate cancer. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men (after skin cancer), which makes this point inherently notable.
Does this mean that one should have anal sex daily?
Probably not. But, as an occasional change-of-pace in one’s sexual proclivities, it’s certainly recommended.
4. No One Man Should Have All That Power
There may be no better way to ensure trust in your relationship than to allow the existing power dynamic in said-relationship to be turned on its head. If you are a domineering man in a heterosexual and heteronormative relationship, it’s possibly a more than advisable idea to every so often allow your female partner to exert the same control over you that you do over her.
There’s something uniquely erotically intoxicating and possibly very emotionally healthy in engaging in some sort of consensual play that involves your female partner engaging in some level of dominant control over how you receive intimacy.
For an added bonus here, maybe take the time to allow your partner to explore the art of making love in positions similar to those typically used in the dynamics of male-to-female penile-vaginal intercourse that exists in thinking that the only way that this happens is with your face south and rear-end facing north is likely undercutting the exciting erotic potential of the encounter.
5. Having Anal Sex Could, Indeed, Make You “More Of A Man.”
There is an idea worth considering that gender is a series of stereotypical suggestions driven by and causing antiquated, irrelevant behaviors. There is indeed something to the idea that in a world where humans can literally re-assign their genders, and there is a space at the table for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual people, that experiencing life through the blinders of cisgendered heterosexuality and its associated behaviors is unnecessarily limiting.
Anal sex, in many ways then, is about something greater than having a dildo stuffed where the sun doesn’t shine. Rather, it’s about having the desire to take a moment and contemplate the idea that your body is not a stereotype, but rather a vessel that regardless of gender and its importance to you, is at its best when receiving adequate amounts of health and pleasure.
Marcus K. Dowling is a journalist, broadcaster and entrepreneur. Recently, he's had a role in concept development, marketing, and promotion for Rewind and Decades, two wildly popular retro-themed entertainment venues in downtown Washington, DC. In the past ten years, Marcus has written for VICE, Pitchfork, Complex, Red Bull, Bandcamp, Mixmag, ESPN's Undefeated, and more. As well, he's the CEO of professional wrestling startup company Capitol Wrestling.