Not all sex is created equal. There are those nights of sweet relief after six minutes of rolling around before returning to your Amazon Prime, and that’s fine. We won’t disparage what may seem like routine lovemaking, because at least you’re still doing it. Sometimes a basic quickie is the perfect thing – like in the morning, when her hair’s a mess and your breath is stank, but you just go at it doggie style before work or the farmer’s market. And that’s nice, too.

But then there are those other times …

The times when the sex is so good, you can’t believe it. You feel certain you must be some sort of sex god. You know, those times when you’re feeling yourself, you’re laying it down like a champion, and she’s moaning sounds that come from deep within her body, and it’s the oh-my-god-yes sex, “I’ll have what she’s having” mind-blowing session that we all dream about.

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But those times can be rare. So rare, in fact, they feel like some sort of natural phenomenon that comes on like an eclipse or a thunderstorm. If only there were ways you, the sex god, could make these epic encounters happen whenever you and your partner are ready to throw down.

Well, you are in luck. We have five amazing ways to help you have better sex. Try these tips a la carte, introducing them one at a time – or get into all of them ASAP. It’s up to you, and it’s all in the name of sexual self-improvement.

Masturbate

Yeah dude, we know you rub one out on the regular, but like a Zen guru or Jedi Master, you must practice your craft with intention. Think of masturbation as a practice round and not just a means to an end when you’re in the shower. By initiating a more exploratory experience of self-love, you can start to learn not just what makes you climax, but also focus on ways to slow yourself down. In addition, this slower, more sensual style will help you get in touch with your own body, which is beyond sexy. Elevate these “training” sessions even more by adding in male sex toys into the mix. Enjoy yourself and your body, practice what speeds you up and slows you down, and lastly, masturbate simply to prolong your lovemaking with your partner. Oh, and duh – jerking off is fun!

Go Deep

Different positions will feel better for different individuals, but an overwhelming majority of men will admit that they like to get deep inside their partner. The thing is though- that’s not always what’s most comfortable for a woman. So how do you turn this conundrum into an opportunity for your best bone session ever? By finding out exactly how to go in deeper, harder, and longer, while making sure it feels amazing for your partner. To do this, you’re going to need some lube. So many factors determine what a woman’s natural lubrication level may be, but it’s not just arousal. A woman can be totally turned on and still reap the benefits of using lube, especially when the loving is long-lasting.

Foreplay All Day

There is nothing sexier than a lover who makes their partner feel desired and appreciated. And as they say, “like attracts like.” So if you start showing your beloved how much they turn you on, then you can expect they will find ways to do the same. Amp up your flirty banter by gently teasing your partner, send a dirty text in the middle of the day letting them know exactly where on their body you want to lick and suck. Send a GIF showing what you’d like her to do with you. Play grab ass at the movies; bring home a little present; french kiss on the stairwell; the list goes on and on. Foreplay doesn’t need to be regulated to an obligatory 10 minutes of over the jeans groping and a bit of oral, it can literally become an undercurrent of sexual tension in your daily life that will continue to make your sex life better and better for years to come.

Get that P Spot

Yes, it’s time to talk about your prostate, and it’s going to be awesome! Here’s the thing: we know there’s still a stigma around men and butt play, but this is changing rapidly, and the reason for that is that prostate stimulation provides more than just a hearty dose of pleasure. When you get a little loving on the prostate, you can receive tremendous health benefits – such as a reduced risk of prostate cancer. Not only that, but while a prostate stimulator is inserted, many men experience harder erections, more intense orgasms, and increased stamina.

When trying any new toy, it can be a good idea to try it alone first. However, the rules for P-play are the same for solo use or with a partner. Use a lubricated finger (seriously, use lube) to start things off, circling the anus and then pressing gently against the sphincter (like ringing a door bell). The key is to go slowly and notice your body’s response. When you’re ready, slide the toy in, and continue on with your favorite sexual activities until climax.

Try Cross Fit

Really, it can be any favorite exercise, but it’s crucial to get out there and enjoy your body and your life. Building strength and stamina will segue to the workouts you get in the bedroom, but most importantly, the confidence you build by taking care of yourself will translate to everything and everyone you do! Most women love their men whether they have six-pack abs or not, but everyone is drawn to someone who feels happy with their own physicality. The same principle applies to eating well and personal grooming. Remember, you are the sex god, and it’s important you value yourself and your body just as you love your partner. So take a vigorous class or a walk around the block, let your mind wander to your favorite sexual fantasies and see yourself sharing them with your lover. Then drink some electrolyte water, power down some protein, and get your bad-ass sexy self ready to have better sex tonight!

This article was originally published on Sex With Emily featuring Dr. Emily Morse. It has been reprinted with permission from the author.