Through a lot of many women's everyday lives, they are asked or expected to be soft, submissive, gentle. So what happens when you want to try being in charge in the bedroom? What happens when, in fact, you don't want to just be charge - but you want to tie up your partner and show them who's the boss?

If you've landed here, perhaps you do. But fantasizing about being a femdom is one thing. What about actually doing it? Some people are fantastic at just diving in headfirst, but other people, like myself, find themselves nervous or worried about achieving "success" at their first attempt. Even for those who want to experience being in charge, the nervousness of "failure" can keep them from taking that first step.

That's what these suggested scenes are for. Already written and easy to follow, they'll give you a simple blueprint for your erotic encounter - one that will help you relax and enjoy yourself instead of worrying about constantly having the "right" answer. Once you've tried out a few of these scenes and start to feel more comfortable being in charge, you can always deviate from the plan - or just scrap your plans altogether! This is all about your confidence as a female dominant - and getting you to a place where you feel comfortable pursuing those juicy, sexy take-charge ideas you have floating around in your kinky head.

Read: 3 Ways Sexism Influences Femdom Relationships

Femdom Scenes: The Rules

So, let's lay out some ground rules. First, you'll notice that most of these scenes involve blindfolding your partner. There's a reason for that. It's a whole lot easier to feel confident and comfortable doing new things if you're not worried that your partner can "see" you. Lucky for us, blindfolding someone is also considered to be a form of domination.

Second, for the ease of reading, these scripts will assume a female dominant and a male submissive. Any relationship you want to try this in (casual sex, lesbian partnership, or others) is a good place to start, but to make it easier to read and understand, I'll be sticking with the scenario of a female dominating a male partner, and using male and female pronouns to describe them. Feel free to change things around to make it work best for your pleasure and your relationship.

Third, all of these scenarios will assume that you and your partner have discussed your taking charge. Choosing to tie someone up or blindfold someone with no prior warning can lead to a disappointing ending - especially if your partner's answer is "Hell no!" Instead, long before you plan on bringing your fantasy to life, sit down and ask your partner if they'd be OK if you were in charge. Ask them if they'd be OK with being bound or blindfolded - and this is the time for the two of you to discuss and set a safeword as well.

Fourth, you'll notice a distinct lack of scenarios that revolve around the dominant being the recipient of pleasure. You are free to change around any of the scenarios to include receiving pleasure of your own - there's nothing "submissive" about "forcing" someone to give you pleasure! However, I've found that people who tend to be nervous about dominating a partner for the first time find it even more nerve wracking to force themselves to be stationary and the center of attention. That's why these scenarios focus on the submissive partner; it will make it easier to get outside of your head and focus on "doing" things instead of just receiving them.

With that in mind, here are a few sensual scenes to help you flex your femdom skills.

Scene 1: Domination With Just Sensual Touch

Not too sure about controlling the entire sex session? That's OK. Try this one.

Tell him that you're just going to take control of him for a bit. Tell him that, if he's good, you'll let him have his way with you after you're done, but if he doesn't obey, well, you'll both will have to try again another night, won't you? Once he's shown that he's willing to obey, you're going to have him lie down on his front or back. It's up to you. Once he's there, add a blindfold, and tell him he's not allowed to move without permission. (If you want to make it easier, only pick a single body part that he's not allowed to move - such as his arms. If you want to make it harder, pick two items to place near body parts you think he'll move. If they get moved or knocked over, he loses.)

Now that he's going to stay still, you're going to tease and sensually pleasure him. You can do this however you'd like. You can choose to run a feather over his body. You can choose to trail your fingers and fingernails down sensitive areas. You can choose to get out the massage oil and massage his body. You can choose to gently tickle his most sensitive areas until you reach his genitals and still force him to stay still while you touch him or give him oral sex. If you're a bit more devious, you can even tickle those tickle spots and see if you can “make” him lose. It's up to you.

If you'd like to up the ante, feel free to have a small paddle or riding crop, and give him a small swat on the thighs or butt every time he moves. You can also use your hand and give him a light slap to whatever body part he improperly moved. Keep in mind that impact play of any kind should first be discussed with your partner and he should be OK with it.

Read: The Ultimate Guide to Impact Play

To easily transition this into the rest of your playtime, anytime you'd like to, feel free to lean down and whisper how much you've enjoyed playing with him, how much it has turned you on, and how much you'd like to do more. If you'd rather, just tell him he did a great job, give him a kiss and some affirming touches, and you both can move onto the next part of your sexual session.

Scene 2: In Charge of Oral

This one focuses around the idea of pleasuring your partner and teaching him that his orgasm is yours to control.

Like before, you're going to go ahead and start with putting a blindfold on your partner. Once he's blindfolded, you're going to undress him yourself. Take your time with each item of clothing, and feel free to critique what you see. (Not in a mean way, but in teasing way, such as "Well, these red boxers fit you fine, but I'd be much more pleased if you were wearing the blue ones." or "I can't believe you'd show up to play with me with holes in your jeans!")

Once your partner is stripped down to the degree that you would like, you're going to take him to the place you'd like him - I recommend a bed, couch, or chair. You're going to sit or place him on it. Again, he's blindfolded for this entire experience, so you're going to be leading him yourself. Feel free to push and turn his body as necessary to make it to the end goal. A bit of playful teasing such as "You couldn't even make it to the bed without my help" and similar statements are a good addition at this point.

Once you have your partner where you want him, it's time to show him exactly how "in control" you are. It's up to you how you want to play this. You can give him the best oral sex of his life and get him off within two minutes if you want. However, I recommend making it a nice, lazy teasing session. Trace your fingers everywhere but where he wants them. Blow chilly air onto his genitals. Use gentle, light touches on his erogenous zones to keep him extremely aroused without gratification.

You can use edging to take this to the next level. If you're very familiar with your partner's near-orgasm behavior, you can use that. Otherwise, tell him that you expect for him to tell you when he's getting close to orgasm - or you'll make sure he doesn't get to come at all if he disobeys. Use your hands and mouth to get him to the edge of orgasm - and then pull back before he gets to come. Do this time and time again; most people will begin to get more sensitive and easier to edge. This will mean he'll only require a couple light strokes to get him near the edge - and you'll get to enjoy "torturing" him with this pleasure until you decide he's allowed to orgasm.

Since this is your scene, feel free to end it however you'd like. Deny his orgasm and tell him you'll let him come tomorrow. Move into intercourse if you'd like. Enjoy the power of facesitting and tell him he doesn't get to get off until you do. It's totally up to you - you're in charge!

Scene 3: He's Your Sex Toy

At the heart of many submissive fantasies is the longing to be "objectified." That is, to be used as something that's specifically designed for the dominant's pleasure. This simple scenario takes advantage of that fact in an easy-to-execute manner. This will be the most "dominant" of the options.

This type of scene should happen at a time when you're aroused and you're looking for some playtime with your partner. Pick a time when your partner isn't already poking at you with arousal - but they also have the open time to comfortably enjoy a sexual encounter with you. (You know the times - don't pick when he's busy with a project from work, but instead, pick a time when you're feeling amorous after an intense episode of your favorite show.)

Now that the time is right, you're going to make it known that you're turned on. You can start giving him cues - such as getting more touchy or pushing yourself against him - or you can choose to just be upfront and say you want to use his body for your own pleasure. No matter which path you choose, though, as long as you're dominant without being unreasonable, you'll likely find that your partner is more than willing to go along with your idea.

How would you like to have intercourse today? Well, it's all up to you! For the best feeling of "domination," I recommend a woman-on-top type of position. You can do that while he's sitting or while he's lying down. You might find it more fun to do while he's lying down - it tends to emphasize the power differential a bit more. Once you've figured out how you want him, feel free to get him prepped. Add a blindfold. Add some restraints. Remove his clothing to exactly the level you'd like. In fact, feel free to just pull down his pants far enough to reach the parts you want access to. Remember, he's supposed to be your "toy" right now.

Once you have your partner set up how you want him, feel free to enjoy the type of intercourse or sensation that you'd like. Prefer a vibrator? Force him to hold a wand massager while you enjoy the sensations while straddling his lap. Want intercourse? Feel free to enjoy that too! Want other types of pleasure? Feel free to uncuff his hands and “force” him to pleasure your nipples while you pleasure yourself. If you are both into pegging or strap-on sex, this can be the time that you choose to enjoy that as well. If, at any point, you'd like to be more of a tease, don't forget that you can remove his blindfold. He'll be "forced" to watch your pleasure and orgasm - with no way to possibly touch you or do anything besides enjoy watching you. If you truly think he'd enjoy being a "sex toy" for you, don't let him orgasm. Sex toys don't orgasm, after all. On the other hand, if you'd rather enjoy his orgasm, feel free to let him come.

No matter what you do, as long as you have your partner's consent, you get to choose and you get to be in charge.