Always Prepared (For Kink)
It's always best to be prepared, especially for kink!
You've probably heard the old adage that it's always best to be prepared - but can you always be prepared for kink? Yes! Sometimes, it's good to have some basics on hand at all times, just in case. You never know - they might come in handy!
Am I the only one who carries around what I call a sexual pleasure and health kit at all times? I have a big bag, so that might make it more realistic, but here are my basics. (Get other tips on how to be prepared in Be a Sexy Safer Sex Superhero in 6 Easy Steps.)
This includes everything from menstrual supplies (I always have my menstrual cup on hand) and ibuprofen, to barrier methods for birth control, lube and wipes. There are a lot of different options out there that will change with your needs. I also really like multi-taskers, like my oil-based lube (not latex or polyisoprene barrier/condom safe!) from Southern Butter that doubles as a moisturizer and body butter and occasionally as a makeup remover.
Here's what's in my bag right this moment: Lunette menstrual cup, my menstrual tea mix, ibuprofen, FC2s, a travel bottle of Good Clean Love in natural, Southern Butter Travel Tin in Sandalwood and Cinnamon, a small massage candle from Sea Grape Soap (because I don't want massage oil leaking in my bag), dental dams, and black nitrile gloves. Ideally, I'd like to include things like wipes, Southern Butter's Back Door Aftercare Balm, and birth control of some type if I don't go for an IUD or implant.
You could also stock a little bag with miscellaneous one-time and disposable things like lube shooters, disposable enemas, lube pillow packs (you can usually get them as samples or buy them to sample different lubes). I've even seen small disposable wartenberg wheels for on-the-go, disposable, no-need-to-worry-about-sterilization options.
I usually recommend a small rechargeable vibrator, like the We-Vibe Tango or Touch. Currently, I keep the Touch in my bag. Beyond that, you can add whatever you're in the mood to use. Are you looking to do butt play with someone? Bring plugs, nitrile gloves, wipes and whatever else you think you might need. Maybe you're interested in pegging. I recommend one of the Spareparts harnesses, which come in stretchy travel bags that can fit a dildo (or two or three) inside. Really, the sex toys you bring in your bag are limited to whatever you can fit and whatever you may desire, but it's best to keep it on the small side unless you have one of those new fancy monksaks, a backpack, or a duffle bag to accommodate your fun-time stuff. When we're talking about everyday, just stick to the bare-bones basics. You don't want to haul around your entire collection!
When it comes to BDSM, there are a lot of great options for things you can - and should - keep on hand. There are plenty of cleverly disguised bondage toys. I've seen bracelets that can double as cuffs or restraints, belts that can be impact toys or restraints, waist cinchers that look fashionable but can lock and have cuffs snapped to them. People have gotten creative with their (barely) undercover sex needs.
I personally have also worn rope as a waist cincher (the ties are really simple). It looks like an interesting fashion accessory to vanilla folks. It is a suggestive detail to those in the know. You could also wear rope harnesses or corsetry under your clothing, either for your personal enjoyment - or for someone to find later.
There are definitely a lot of fun, compact toys out there that you can fit inside of a bag too. It's easy to roll up a couple skeins of rope in the bottom of your bag along with a wartenberg wheel, bondage tape or vet wrap, and a small flogger. The options are endless!