You don't need a bunch of new gadgets or sex toys in your bedroom to make sex even more exciting. In fact, why don't you use the imagination that you already possess? Most people still love "playing pretend" as adults. Why else do we get caught up in make-believe dramas on TV or in books? And, if you take that same principle and apply it to intimate time with your partner, all that drama can really spice up your sex life.
Using your imagination is exactly the idea behind sexual roleplay. You and your partner can pretend to be different people. The excitement during sex when you play your roles can be palpable. Unfortunately, a lot of people may feel awkward getting into the idea of pretending to be someone else. It can be hard to get "into" the roles deeply enough to feel that arousal without feeling a bit ridiculous in the process.
Don't worry; I'm here to help! Here are eight simple things that you can do to help alleviate some of the silliness that's part of role playing and really get into your role. Take some of the following suggestions to help make your roleplay experience more realistic and arousing:
Discuss Roleplay Ideas With Your Partner
Before you begin to plan out a roleplay, you and your partner should discuss what roleplay ideas you'd like to do together. If there are multiple suggestions, you both may want to write them on small slips of paper and take turns selecting an idea to act out. You both want to ensure that you're really turned on and behind the idea of each individual scenario. If you're both really into the roles, it's much more likely to seem realistic and run smoothly.
Pick Out Special Clothing
You could just make up a roleplay outfit with the items that are already in your closet. However, you may want to purchase new items and outfits to accomplish this. Basking in after-Halloween costume sales can be a cheap way to do this. Purchasing new-to-you and new-to-your-partner items helps keep the roleplay feeling brand new. To make it even more potent, you may want to keep your partner from being involved in any of the outfit selections. When your partner first sees you for the roleplay, it will be the first time they've seen you in your outfit. This can lead to an extra feeling of "this isn't the partner I know."
Pick Out Accessories
Another way to make your roleplay even more realistic is by adding applicable accessories. Working with accessories that reflect the roles you're playing can add another level of realism. Handcuffs, hats, pretend academic papers, DVDs, and other items can make your fantasy more realistic. A babysitter/adult may work well with college textbooks and a DVD. A hotel worker and a hotel guest may benefit from a "Do Not Disturb" door hanger or a room service meal.
Meet In a New Location
You and your partner are used to your bedroom. Instead of sticking to activities just in the bedroom, why not plan to meet up somewhere outside of the bed ahead of time? You'll want to find a place that is appropriate for your roleplay. If you're roleplaying teacher/student, you may want to meet up in a business office or an empty lecture hall at the nearby university. If you're doing a police officer/driver, you can have your partner pull over on the side of the road. You don't have to have sex or do any of the foreplay out in public, but you may find that meeting out in public helps you both get into character.
Have a General Plan
Take it from people who are into BDSM and plan elaborate scenes: having a general "game plan" before you start can make the difference between a fantastic experience and a mediocre one. You don't have to plan everything down to the exact detail, but having a general plan will ensure that there aren't any lulls or any "what do we do now?" moments. For example, for a babysitter/adult roleplay, you may plan on your partner coming home early and "surprising" the studying college babysitter who is watching a movie. The adult may try to make conversation, but he may find himself attracted to the college-aged sitter who's sitting around in revealing pajamas. This general game plan helps you both stay on track with a sexy and realistic scenario, one that you both consented to and were aroused by beforehand. (Read more about the importance of consent in Yes! Why Consent Is Totally Sexy.)
Do Some Background Investigation
If you have a bit of extra time, try to do a bit of background investigation. Depending on what role you're playing, it may require a bit more time to learn. If you're playing an escort, you may want to look at online communities to find out about proper procedures and safety information that career escorts use. If you're going to be a police officer, do research into the exact procedures that an officer would use when making an arrest or taking someone into custody. Not only will this little bit of extra knowledge make your roleplay more realistic, but you'll also be learning something new!
Set Up a Safeword
While roleplaying isn't exactly BDSM, you may find it helpful to set up a safeword before you delve into your characters. Depending on what characters you choose and how the power is balanced between those two characters, you don't want to confuse a playful, "No, please, don't!" with a serious, "Please stop that now." Discussing a safeword in advance lets you both relax and get deeper into your roles. You both know that you'll use an unrelated word if anything is serious. You can feel safe knowing that your captive saying "Oh, please, no!" is entirely playful.
Bring Up Any Requests Beforehand
Your partner can't read your mind, and you can't read your partner's mind. If you want your roleplay to go as smoothly as possible, you should both discuss any preferences beforehand. You may not know that your partner fantasizes about the police officer having anal sex with his captive. Your partner may not know that your ideal babysitter scenario uses handcuffs. To get your realistic roleplay as close to your fantasies as possible, take some time beforehand to discuss what you'd really like to see happen.
Now that you have a good idea of how to best pull off your favorite roleplay fantasies, you and your partner are equipped with all of the knowledge you need for a more satisfying playtime. Get your roles in mind and jump straight into the sex you've always dreamed of.
