This excerpt is from 'Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1.' This excerpt, entitled 'Fisting Day,' is written by Jiz Lee. It is reprinted with permission of Cleis Press.
Editor's Note: International Fisting Day is October 21st.
Happy International Fisting Day!
You ready for a monster post? Well, grab your lube, lie back, and relax. It’s late on Thursday night and I’m typing this at one of my favorite bars, El Rio. San Francisco felt its second earthquake today. It makes me shiver thinking about the fragility of our lives, the great divides between the Earth and our existence. And then, you know, there’s fisting. Crossing my fingers that the ground below my feet withholds a mighty quake, let’s get this blog going.
Not too long ago, I was chatting with Courtney Trouble about our recent film LIVE SEX SHOW, a fundraiser for the Center for Sex & Culture filmed during the nonprofit’s annual Masturbate-a-Thon. I performed with Nina Hartley for an audience of pleasure activists. The chemistry was high with me and Nina, and we jumped into each other, and we had a grand time, and during that time, her fingers and then her whole hand went inside me. And then I came for the crowd and for myself, and for my friend holding a video camera for the world to see.
At least, we hope the world could see.
For as long as I’ve done porn, distribution companies and retailers have banned the act of fisting. It feels like it’s always been this way, but that’s not true. It’s only been a little over a decade.
Antiporn movements, in particular the administrations which coincide with them, have had a bone to pick against pornography. I advocate for consensual, ethical, and expressive erotic imagery. The act of making porn is a brave, powerful, and righteous thing. We’re representing marginalized communities, taking power through creating our own images of desire. As Shine Louise Houston says, as a queer woman of color, it’s especially important for her to create her own sexual images. And I completely and passionately agree. Explicitly demonstrating our pleasure shows examples of healthy sexuality that have long been denied in sex education classes. Safer sex? Check. Communication? Check. Equal gender agency, you bet. Lube? Right here.
Since 2005, I’ve appeared in porn for DVD distribution that I knew would not include fisting, one of my favorite sex acts. Even my very first porn scene with my lover at the time. It didn’t make sense that fisting couldn’t be shown, but I tossed it up to the fact that porn is marketed and driven by a lot of assumptions about what sells, what sex should look like, what the people who have sex should look like, yada, yada, yada. Basically all the reasons why I knew I was doing something important.
But wait, why is fisting so important? What do I like about it? Here’re some questions I’ve been asked about fisting:
Why is fisting important to you?
My first experiences with hand sex, where my body took in the entire fist of a lover, happened around a time of galactic sexual exploration. I was in my early twenties and it was mind-blowing. The orgasms were intense and as I was in an open relationship, it was exciting for me to have sex with friends and teach them how to fist me, to fist others, and to really enjoy practicing sex in a safe way and to experience this with lovers of various genders and sexual orientations. It was so much fun. Fisting is about being really present and in your body, and ready for a good time.
Why do you love fisting?
What I love about fisting someone vaginally is feeling them take me in. There’s a moment where the person just opens up to you. Once inside, they’re so warm, wet, and every little movement you make can be felt. It’s something that may take time. Fisting is something that doesn’t necessarily happen right away. You put a finger in. Then two. Then three, four, and then…and sometimes after long gentle coaxing, the thumb. Sometimes lovers can try several times in sex before fisting happens. But once you’ve got it, it’s golden! You can angle your hand for G-spot stimulation.
You can find your lover’s "A-spot", which is just under the cervix and some like to feel a bit of pressure there. You can carefully stroke and "jerk off " the cervix, as if it were a small, internal cock. Unlike using a strap-on or dildo, a hand can feel every motion. It’s incredibly intimate and really sexy. If the chemistry and connection with my partner is strong, I can literally come from penetrating someone with my hand!
Want to read more? You can read 'Fisting Day' and other sexy stories by purchasing 'Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1 here.
