Complaints about partners who multitask during sex are abundant. Is it really a new problem? Most of us have watched TV during sex at least once. I defy anyone to watch Jon Stewart skewer the news without getting at least a little turned on. Couples report a wide range of activities they do while having sex - including talking on the phone, texting, thinking about bills, the kids, work problems, or even stuff like eating or deciding what color to repaint the bedroom. Receiving oral sex while driving (AKA "road head") has become so commonplace, even wholesome guys like Ron Howard include it in their family movies.
My first reaction to this was shock. People really are OK with multitasking during sex? I was sure I'd be offended if that were me. I was also sure that I'd never be so dismissive to my partner's efforts, so lacking in basic courtesy during what was supposed to be a tender and loving moment between (in my case) married people. I resolved that the next time I had sex, I'd make a mental note of how attentive I was.
And that's when I noticed that the mind can wander during sex … a lot. Without going into detail, I found myself thinking about the work I didn't get done that day, that I'd meant to start the dishwasher, and that the cat sounded like he was getting into something in the other room. I remembered I was supposed to make a hair appointment, and to call in a prescription refill. In short, despite my best efforts, I was guilty of engaging in activities during sex that had nothing to do with pleasure, or my partner. Suddenly, I felt like a terrible person.
You know, in some countries, multitasking during sex has become downright hilarious. In Japan, so-called "Killer Karaoke" takes sexual multitasking to a new and bizarre level. Contestants sing karaoke, as the name implies. The trick? While they sing contemporary hits, they're also being manually pleasured by game show models.
What strikes me most about this NSFW video, is the constant laughter of the audience. Granted, O-faces tend to be pretty funny. But turning the act of masturbating a virtual stranger into a hysterical party game is pretty much the antithesis of intimacy. We could probably argue all day about whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I wouldn't engage in such a thing, but I did find myself laughing - especially at why they'd actually show the "money shot" while blurring the whole thing out.
Like most things sexual, it's really up to us to decide whether we think multitasking during sex is fine, a distraction, or an abomination. If you're OK with it, and your partner doesn't mind, go for it. But if you've watched the karaoke videos above, you probably aren't doing such a great job of the things you're trying to tackle while getting off either.
Wednesday Lee Friday is an eclectic writer of fact and fiction. She has worked as a reptile wrangler, phone sex operator, radio personality, concierge, editor, fast food manager, horror novelist, and she owns a soap shop. She prefers jobs that let her sleep during the day. Everybody knows all the best art and literature happen at night! Wednesday's work has appeared in Women's Health Interactive, Alternet, Screen Rant, The Roots of Loneliness Project and Authority Magazine. Wednesday Lee Friday was born November 24th, 1970 in Royal Oak, Michigan. It was a Tuesday. After deciding against being a ballerina, an ichthyologist, and a famous singer, she decided to become a novelist just before starting kindergarten. Wednesday went to college in Olivet, Michigan, where she majored in theater and broadcasting for some reason. Wednesday Lee Friday is a four-time published novelist, podcaster, horror fan, soap artisan, and former phonesex gal. Wednesday eats true crime for breakfast, knows enough Dothraki to buy a horse, and is a regular TV and movie reviewer for 411Mania.com. Look for her novels, anthologies, and audiobooks whereever you usually buy those things.