This piece isn't about your mother's hard-won orgasms while balancing kids, career, and spouse, or your grandmother's discovery of a vibrator at the ripe old age of 80. Those women forged a path for you, yes, but this piece is about your pleasure, not theirs ... and your right to it.

You are 100% worth it, by the way. The journey toward your sexual center is one that is irreplaceable. Your personal victory is a victory for all women. This journey requires guts and conviction. For many women, it is difficult. That being said, it is one of the most meaningful experiences you can have in your life.

When I talk about pleasure, I’m talking about knock-down, drag-out orgasms. A cacophony of O’s. A symphony of squeals and guttural moans. I’m referring to the most honest place a gal can get: naked, back arched, legs spread, and just you and your toys spending some quality time together.

After all, how are we, as women, to conquer the world when we don’t understand our own bodies? Why are we entrusting our pleasure to our partners rather to ourselves? Partners are great, but what about self-pleasure? Why must we see things in black and white and not in full color? Which Dorothy are we? Kansas Dorothy or Oz Dorothy? Because it matters. You matter. Your orgasms matter.

A bit about me: I’m a science geek. I like things evidence-based and quantifiable. I usually go to the journals for the numbers on various practices I’m interested in. I’m keen on numbers as they apply to sex because they normalize so much of what we perceive as fetishist as much more common than we may ever have imagined. So, when I saw a YouTube video with Makeda Voletta encouraging me to put polished stones in my pussy, I thought, no thanks mama ... I’ll pass. I’m digging the indigenous nature of your knowledge, but let me figure out another means of invigorating my sexual center that doesn’t involve geology.

Then I read up on the subject. Google “vaginal weight training” the next time you have a minute. The results are pretty interesting.

What Are Yoni Eggs?

Smoothed and polished yoni, or jade, eggs have been used for upwards of 2000 years for the purpose of strengthening the pelvic floor in upper class Eastern and Taoist women. Native American women also practiced this ancient craft, continents away, as did African women in their homeland, albeit using a different variety of stone.

The methodology has not varied much in the thousands of years of practice. One inserts a small stone egg into the vagina for the purpose of weight training. Once the weight is in there, you do a few kegels and feel the power radiate. Talk to your personal trainer and you will discover that when you weight train anything, you initially increase its sensitivity. This is not to say that “egg wearing” hurts at all. You just begin to notice certain areas have nerve bundles that you didn’t know existed: namely your vagina. Another added bonus is that when you weight train your pleasure center, you enhance your capacity for pleasure. This means stronger, longer orgasms. You also increase vaginal elasticity and bladder control.

I’ve spoken to many women over the years about eggs and read up on them. There are those who claim they have rejuvenating, alchemical powers. I’m not one of them. Let’s be frank: if you like that mystical goddess stuff, I will support you in your journey, but don’t ask me to co-sign it. I also happened to promise my editor that I’d steer clear of all the mumbo-jumbo associated with these things. So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?

What’s the Difference Between Eggs and Ben Wa Balls?

There’s not much of a difference other than one is man made (the stone eggs) and one is not (the Ben Wa balls). Because of the popularity of “50 Shades of Grey” every little nymphette in America is lining up to get her Ben Wa balls which is, in my mind, pretty awesome. Talk about a paradigm shift. It’s simply a matter of preference – do you want metal inside you or stone?

What About Kegel Balls as Compared to Eggs?

Kegel balls are typically glass or silicone. The same rules apply to these bad boys as apply to Ben Wa balls. Would you like glass, silicone, or stone, madam?

How Do I Start Out With Egg Wearing?

There are different weights and different types of stones you can choose from on your journey to rockin’ the perfect stone. Most women choose a medium-sized egg to start out with and frequently look to rose quartz, jade or aventurine. The smaller the egg, the harder it is to feel, so it is best to start out with something that has some size to it. You might also want an egg that is drilled as opposed to undrilled. All that means is that a friendly little stone mason drilled a hole in the egg so that you can attach a string for easy removal. Don’t fret about the stone getting lost. That’s anatomically impossible due to the presence of your cervix. With proper relaxation and a good healthy cough, that little gem will pop out nice and easy.

What Are Some of the Advantages of Egg Wearing as Opposed to the Newer, Flashier Versions?

As women, we should be trusting our pleasure to ourselves. Flashy toys are great, but our sexuality is up to us to navigate, to nurture, and to protect. Finding old medicine as a means of assisting our process can be so healing, not to mention, fun. I really recommend you taking the time to own your pleasure and, in turn, yourself. Yoni eggs are one path toward sexual liberation in a wide world full of indigenous practices. Women have been figuring out how to rock their worlds for a long time now and we are in a place to benefit from that knowledge. So egg up! Get your rocks off!