How Writing (Not Reading) Erotic Fiction Can Benefit Your Sex Life

As a ghost-writer of erotic fiction, I’ve written my fair share of kinky stories - ranging from simple office romances right through to tales of telepathic lesbian robots infiltrating a space station. I’m not joking!

I’ve also read my fair share of erotica too. Since Fifty Shades of Grey whipped everyone up into a frenzy, the genre has received a lot of mainstream support, but I have to say my favourite titles precede the recent boom. Since devouring the first book of Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Quartet almost a decade ago, I came to realize that this was a genre I could really sink my teeth into.

It was my love of reading erotica that first persuaded me to try my hand at writing it as well. But what I never expected when I took up this gig was the positive effect that writing erotic fiction would have on my sex life.

It’s changed the way I look at sex, have sex, talk about sex… and I’ll bet that if you decided to spend a few hours a week writing smut then it might just shift your own perspective a little too. Writing erotic fiction can be a journey of sexual discovery, a gateway into deeper connections of trust with your partner and a risk-free means of mapping your desires.

You’ll be surprised how scripting your own explicit fantasies (rather than simply reading someone else’s, no matter how well-written) can benefit your sex life!Mindfulness & Sensuality

When I first began writing erotica, I would inevitably see myself in the settings I created, drawing on past experiences and intertwining them with desires and fantasies that I never even knew I had. What resulted was usually a concoction of wild fantasies embellished with a few personal truths.

That’s not to say that the sex scenes I’ve written form a catalogue of my own past experiences. After all, I’ve never been on a space station, nor have I ever been seduced by a telepathic lesbian robot!

The point I’m making here is that when writing erotica, you will of course draw on at least some of your own personal experiences and intimate fantasies, and that’s a good thing. Use them, build on them, and turn them into something hot!

Writing well comes from observation, and this mindfulness extends beyond the act of writing altogether. The more you write, the more you will ask yourself to reflect more deeply on your intimate encounters. How does his hair really feel between your fingertips? How does the leather really sound when it slaps against your skin?

This new level of mindfulness during sex can be quite exciting, as you begin to pay closer attention to your own sensuality.

I've learned is that there's something deliciously liberating about staring at a blank page in quiet anticipation, before allowing dirty thoughts and hidden desires to rise to the surface. Writing can be a release! A fluid exploration of desires; unearthing fantasies - even kinks - which you never knew you had.

All you have to do is write. Set pen to paper, let yourself go - and see what words come tumbling out. You might just be surprised! For more on how erotica can improve your sex life, check out My First Taste of Erotica - and the Joy of Sexual Discovery.