Sex Stories We Love: Dornan's Dungeon Visit, Frightened Furries and Infidelity Overload | Kinkly

I am delighted to make this week’s Sex Stories We Love my last, official piece of work for the year 2014. Not only do I relish a little time off, but I also look forward to sharing more awesome and tawdry tales with all of you in the coming year! My best to you all, to everyone at Kinkly, and to my co-columnist Bobbie Morgan!

Building Blocks of Understanding?

I can’t help but think there’s a parallel between learning about Canada's new sex work laws via LEGO demonstration and those sex work laws themselves. It's a parallel between good parenting and bad parenting. With good parenting we know that LEGO, of course, is awesome and every parent should suffer the pain of stepping on those plastic blocks for the sake of their child’s development. The sex work laws are parenting gone bad. They are an extreme form of the "Go to your room where you’ll be safe because we know better than you!" mentality that many of us heard while growing up. That school of thought doesn’t keep us safe and these laws do not keep sex workers safe. Hopefully these laws are more like Jenga—about to tumble down!

Dornan's Dungeon Visit

Oh, Jamie Dornan. While it may seem similar, 'foot in the mouth’ is not really a fetish. The soon-to-be-unleashed Christian Grey was recently interviewed and revealed he visited a dungeon. Seems like a good idea considering Dornan will be the acting owner of the infamous Red Room of Pain. Too bad the trip seems to have upset his delicate nature. After, seemingly, demanding some kind of show from those on-hand, left feeling a little out of sorts. "Then going back to my wife and newborn baby afterwards...I had a long shower before touching either of them."

I didn't have much of an opinion on the upcoming 50 Shades of Grey movie, but now I hope this insulting fool does a little more research into sex communities before the film premiers. I mean, sure, we’ve all wanted to wash ourselves after a bad experience. Watching Dornan in Once Upon A Time comes to mind for me…

Fetish in Everyday Life

On the other hand, this photo series The Fetlife is exactly what people need to start to understand fetish and differing sex and sexualities. Danny Ghitis’ ongoing exploration and portraiture of people and their varying fetishes is astonishing in both complexity and simplicity. Much credit goes to Ghitis for selecting some truly challenging fetishes including adult babies and werewolves. Even more thanks go to the people who have posed for these images. It is a big risk, unfortunately, to put yourself out in the world as a 'known’ fetishist. You could face discrimination, personal embarrassment, professional difficulties, and a host of other situations. I thank them all.

Frightened Furries

There’s no denying that the story of the chlorine gas leak at the Furry convention is, on the surface, pretty funny. Of course, that is just the surface. I admit that when I first saw images of the attendees outside in their furry garb, I snickered. Once I learned the details, I realized this event is no laughing matter (although the newscaster seemed to think no one should be worried). However, the incident of the abandoned chlorine powder is being treated as a criminal matter. Any of us who attend sex or lifestyle related events should take this story and the reaction of the newscaster very seriously. Nineteen people were sickened. It is an astonishingly crude act taken against a group of people who were doing nothing but enjoying themselves.

Infidelity Info Overload?

A cheating partner is something most of us will experience at some point in our lives. It hurts like hell. Some of us never recover from the loss of trust and feelings of inadequacy. Yet, is that a reason to not want to know if your partner is cheating on you? I understand and sympathize with Adiba Nelson’s sentiment in the essay. My logical mind has an issue with her suspension of disbelief. Sure, your partner is great, a loving parent, a doting companion, and lover. That's all fantastic. If your partner also happens to be going behind your back without a distinct discussion about opening up your partnership...is that person really that great? Is living in denial really living? Blinders can save us from many dangerous and damaging things, but they can also take our sight when we need it most.

Language Transitions

Times change, we all know this. There was a time when people didn’t really understand the power of language and labels. To label something can be dangerous in the long-term. When I began discovering porn, the term "shemale" was all over the place. I knew that word before I knew tranny, TS, and definitely before I knew transgender. Here, trans porn performer Chelsea Poe makes a passionate appeal to all of us—particularly porn producers—to stop using "shemale." She’s damn right. The term is a demeaning and dangerous holdover from an unfortunate time. Not only is it offensive, but as Poe tells, it endangers trans women. It is the type of word attackers use when targeting trans women. Trans women are murdered at a rate of one every 36 hours—a sobering statistic. Please consider signing her petition.

Sex Stories We Love: Dornan’s Dungeon Visit, Frightened Furries and Infidelity Overload