OK, so being naked on a webcam and doing sexual acts can be a little daunting. Actually, putting on a show can be pretty awkward anyway, but if the person you're doing it for doesn't have a cam and you can't see their reactions, that can take things to a whole new level. In my own experience as a webcam model, I've learned a few tips and tricks that I'm happy to pass on. After all, getting frisky on a webcam - or or over Skype or chat - can be a great way to spice up a relationship when the two of you are miles apart. (Get some more tips on how to have great fun over Skype in A No-Fuss Guide to Skype Sex.)
How To Be a Webcam Goddess
The best and easiest way to make the act of getting frisky on cam hot is to have the proper equipment. You need a high-speed Internet connection first of all. You don't want your stream to freeze or the video to be jumpy - now that would be awkward. You're also going to need a high-quality cam. Spending $40 or $50 should do it, just don't go too cheap. These little cameras are generally easy to set up and they have great tech support.
Next, you're going to need lighting. What's the point in being on camera if you're partner can't see you? I find that an overhead ceiling light and then an additional table lamp set to illuminate your face and body works well. I know some cam girls spend the money on professional lighting. That will definitely do the trick, but it's probably a bit much for a Friday night when your partner happens to be out of town. The key is to set up some lighting that allows you to be seen well, but is still flattering.
OK. So you have this great setup. You have your high-speed Internet connection, your HD camera, and your lighting. And you might think, hey, I'm not really going to have sex, so I can cut a few corners. Um, no. Just no. Remember the HD? I can't stress this one enough: SHAVE! Just because your camming partner is not going to be touching you doesn't mean you can skip the important stuff. Go through your normal routine as if you're expecting a hot date. You'll feel sexier and more confident...and will also possibly look less hairy depending on how good your cam is.
Also, things tend to look flatter on camera than they would in person, so go all out with your makeup. Line your lips and define your cheeks and eyes. Basically, you want to feel like a porn star. Porn, after all, is what you're making. Be it professional or amateur it's still porn. It's a fantasy and you should look like one. So wear something that makes you feel sexy, even if your partner can't see it. (Get some insight into what it means to make a sex tape in Filming Yourself In the Act: What You Should Know Before You Put on a Show.)
Fun and Games
Sometimes it's hard to get into the rhythm of things. It can be incredibly awkward and off-putting to be on camera without the forgiving nature of low lighting and being able to snuggle into your partner's chest. Games can be a great way to break the ice and make things go a lot smoother. Try this one: Get some blank index cards and turn them into playing cards. Write actions on the back like "get naked," "oil up," or whatever you think might be fun. You could also do a sort of "Wheel of Fortune" to spin. Your partner gets to watch you do whatever the wheel lands on. Talk about a lucky spin! Another girl I know took a Jenga set and painted the ends different colors. Her partner will pick a color and an act; if she pulls the piece without toppling the tower she doesn't have to do anything, but if she knocks it over, well, her partner's in for a treat. These games keep things fun and help build anticipation.
The Down and Dirty
If you can't actually touch your partner, what can you interact with? Toys toys toys! Get them! Get sparkly, crazy vibrators, and dildos and any other goodies that make you happy. Some men like the idea of a realistic toy because it enhances their fantasy. It's the same reason you only see an actor's penis in porn. Your partner wants to feel like he is with you. So play it up with those toys and get into the fantasy. And if you're a kinky gal, there are even (gasp!) anal plugs out there that have different animal tails attached. Some are fake and fluffy, while others are made of genuine horse hair, fox tails, bunny tails, and similar non-endangered species. It's dirty, but it's kinda cute at the same time. (Get more ideas in Anal Sex Toys 101.)
Overall, there are so many options when it comes to toys, so tailor this part to what you and your partner enjoy. And if the webcam thing happens often (which, if you're in a long-distance relationship or just really have a lot of fun, it will) keep plenty of options around.
Being apart might mean no sex, but it doesn't mean you can't have a little private time with your partner. Plus, by the time you're ready to get down and dirty in the same room, you should be so worked up from all the playing and teasing the real thing will be that much hotter.
Sex is a bit like a secret society; everyone's doing it, it's just that no one talks about it. Kinkly's mission is to start that conversation, answer your questions and help you discover new and exciting things about sex, love and your body. We guarantee it'll be illuminating, enlightening, fun ... and a little kinky. And that's OK with us.
No innuendos, no judgments and no apologies, just fearless, straight-up talk about sex.