You could also add sex toys to the mix. These days there's a lot of selection for vibrators and dildos, depending on what you’re looking for. Have a couple of choices on hand and try them all when pleasuring your partner. A vibrator will feel good when used on your penis and testicles and she’ll love it as well. If she craves penetration you can always use a dildo on her while you use your other hand and mouth for extra stimulation. (New to sex toys? Check out our article, 10 Basic Sex Toys You Should Know and Try!)
The possibilities are endless when you start to explore other avenues to pleasure. Adding variety to your sexual practice is a great way to enhance your relationship and build intimacy in a way that allows you both to experience pleasure, erection or no erection.
Remember that when erectile dysfunction becomes an issue for one partner it affects both of them. It's a difficult subject to bring up, but communicating with your partner about these issues is so important and it will strengthen your relationship. Discuss whether you should look into one of the ED medications and include your partner in the decision-making process. Don’t just spring it on them without warning, literally or figuratively!
You can find a number of products to rev up your arousal and strengthen your erection at a reputable sex toy store. Cock rings are tight fitting rings that slide onto the penis and fit tightly at the base, keeping the penis full of blood and therefore erect. Most cock rings are made with rubber or other stretchy materials, but there are also fancier versions with snaps or Velcro that allow you to adjust the size accordingly. Some cock rings have attachments designed to stimulate a female partner's clitoris during intercourse, and several more-expensive models have vibrators built in. Penis pumps can also be used to increase the flow of blood into the penis.
If you are having erectile issues you should also schedule a visit with your doctor. Not all erectile dysfunction cases have a physiological basis but they can be an early indicator of health problems. Include your partner in this conversation - they can be your strongest support and advocate.
ED drugs may promise a quick fix, but communication is the most important key to building and sustaining a strong intimate relationship. As you and your partner age, it becomes more important to talk about the changes you’re experiencing and work together to find creative solutions. A natural way to broach the issue with your partner may be to simply say, "I can tell that my erections aren’t as firm as they used to be 10 years ago." It may make you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable to discuss this but hopefully your partner will be able to respond in a loving and supportive way.
(Check out sexpert Ducky Doolittle's Q&A for more tips and tricks for dealing with erectile dysfunction).