Sex Stories We Love: Discovering Consent, Waiting or Wanting, & Spoonful of Semen

There’s no other way to say it: how we deal with sex can be awkward AF sometimes. Well, frequently. OK, it's awkward all the bloody time. Fortunately, some things are getting better ... although maybe not tastier.

Softening on Someone Else

It can be one of the most difficult thoughts we share with a partner: I’d like to have sex with someone else. We have such an ingrained sense of monogamy that to stray from that is a very challenging prospect - for both the person with the desire and, ultimately, the partner who is being queried. That monogamy sense is a hard one to break, or even understand why that need exists. Being told this need by a partner has, traditionally, been viewed as one of the hardest things to hear resulting in insecurity, fear and anger. However, new findings are demonstrating a shift in potential discomfort. Folks, particularly younger people, are becoming more open to the prospect of their sex partners, romantic or otherwise, having sex with others. This could signal a significant shift in relationship dynamics.

Helping, Hot Hands

Have you ever asked someone sexy and new if they are a “good” person? Do you just try and get a sense of it? There has long been this trope that bad folks get all the lovin’. In certain respects, this might be true - if only in movies and after school specials. Ultimately, maybe we do like good folks after all. Recent research shows that we look for sexual partners who demonstrate an altruistic bent. Helping people can establish us as desirable. And, really, who wouldn’t want someone who cares enough to help others?

Discovering Consent

One of the best ways to understand other people's struggles is to - as they say - take a walk in their shoes. In other words, to try to live their experiences and identify with them. Now, technology is advancing in such a way to let us do this, to slip on the virtual shoes of another person. There are many sexy and hot ways this is going to revolutionize sex, but there is another intriguing development happening in different parts of the world. VR is being used to confront significant social issues, including the the difficult place consent has in our world. I particularly love the Canadian project that is giving young men the chance to experience consent from a woman’s perspective. Great work.

There Goes the Neighborhood?

Negotiating sex and space is a tricky business - particularly when businesses are involved. For years, sexual businesses were relegated to back alleys, outlying parts of cities, and just generally didn’t exist in smaller communities. However, a greater acceptance of sex has lead to sexy business moving into more mainstream areas, thus achieving a greater degree of assimilation. Even so, it doesn’t always go well, particularly if an adult-oriented business moves in too close to other particular businesses. Now, it makes perfect sense that a fetish club can operate wherever it wants, but it seems like the potential for problems would be greater if it moves in next to a church and a preschool. Absolutely, the club has that right ... but is it right?

Waiting or Wanting?

Let’s take it right back to the beginning: how we first negotiate sex with someone new. Do we know it is a one-off or are we hoping for something long-term? Do we know the person already or have no desire to even learn their name. There are many different things to consider when we are deciding whether to have sex with someone...or to not have sex with someone. It isn’t a very common narrative these days, but some folks are still making the decision to not have sex until after marriage. These folks had an easy connection to establish their joint desire in waiting, which is less likely for others. How would you react if a new partner declared their intention to wait to you?

Spoonful of Semen

And who’d have thought “Hey what’s in your smoothie?” would be such an awkward question? When the answer is "semen," well, that changes the whole conversation.