Rock Her World: A Guy's Guide to Oral Sex
It's a vulva, not the space shuttle. Here's how to take your game from good to great.
Let’s just face a few facts: sex is important in a relationship. This includes oral sex. There are plenty of articles written about how to give mind-blowing blow jobs. I’ve written a few myself! Yet when it comes to oral advice for men, there seems to be a gap in available information. The few articles I have seen are typically written for men by other men! That’s like the blind leading the blind! In my vast experience, there are very few men who not only aren’t willing to go down on a woman, but there are even fewer who know what the hell they are doing once they get down there.
Fellas, it’s a vulva. It’s not the space shuttle. It’s just not that complicated!
If you really want to live up to the image you have of yourself as a sexual Tyrannosaurus, then pull up a chair and take notes - class is in session. If you’re lucky, there will be an oral quiz with your lover later.
Don't Neglect the Clitoris
First thing's first: The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings. Think of it as a tiny penis with double the senses. Yup, hold on to that image and feeling for a minute. Mull it over as you imagine how incredibly sensitive your penis is … and then double it! Knowledge is power, boys, so educate yourself on the female anatomy before you try to tinker with it, OK? (Read: Holy Clit, Batman! 9 Amazing Facts About the Clitoris.)
All Women Are Not the Same
The second most important tip is to forget what your ex told you; what she liked, what she didn’t like, or what she lied about liking. Every woman is different. Vaginas are like snowflakes. No two are exactly alike. Get to know the one you're working with.
Just like your little soldier needs a bit of coaxing before he’s ready to stand, or lean, at attention, your lover needs a little bit of build-up as well. You can’t simply get naked, throw her on the bed, and conquer her with your tongue. That only happens in porn. Real, live women need a little coaxing to get the juices flowing south of the Bbrder. Kiss her neck and collar bone, work your way down and lightly kiss, lick, and suck her nipples before trailing light kisses down her navel, stopping at her pubic bone. Tease her a bit by shifting your attention to her inner thighs, softly kissing the inside of one and then the other as you hold her waist.
Let’s assume you’ve got her right where you want her - aroused and ready for the best orgasm of her life. Now what? Start with some soft kisses or even simply breathing some warm breaths on her labia as you hover just above her lady parts, not quite touching her. Work up your “kisses” from soft to sensual by adding just a touch of your soft - not rigid - tongue as you continue kissing up one side of her labia to her clitoris and then down the other side.
Now it’s time to turn things up a notch. Gently (I said gently!) use your tongue to lick from the vagina to the clit, stopping to roll your tongue around her clit softly. Then wrap your lips around her clit and give it a little suck, almost like a kiss.
Pay Attention to Her Responses
Pay attention to her responses as you touch, kiss and lick her. Is she moving away? If so, ease up. Is she pushing into you? She likes what you’re doing and may want more (either more of the same, or more pressure). It’s OK to ask questions, but don’t interview her or take a survey in the middle of trying to give her an orgasm. A simple, “Do you like that?” should solicit the proper response.