So, you’ve settled in for some sexy time with your favorite mechanical lover. It goes "buzz, buzz", you go "oh, ah". Your special bits are tickled to bliss. You lie in that glorious post-orgasmic euphoria and find your mind drifting. What is it about your favorite vibrator that gives it the ability to drive you absolutely wild?

Well, friend, let me break it down for you.

It's Physics

Yes, physics. Science is sexy, y’all.

Your typical vibrator contains a motor with a weight attached off-center so that it shakes as it spins, like an unbalanced washing machine. The mass of this weight is going to dictate which parts of your body are best excited by the toy. Why? Because of an underlying principle of machines: In order to transfer energy we need to match masses.

The extremely sensitive glans of the clit can be as small as a gram or so in mass, similar to the weight in most vibrators. The matched masses allow toys like the Iconic Bullet or the Rabbit to efficiently couple energy into those small and excitable, external nerves. However, the glans of the clit is just the tip of an impressive clitoral iceberg, a vast structure of nerves that extends up into the pelvic region. The entire complex is a few hundred grams in size. So, in order to properly stimulate your internal pleasure palace, you want a toy with a larger motor mass. This is the science behind the X1 Orgasmatron from Orgasmatronics. (Learn more about lady-bits in Holy Clit, Batman! 9 Amazing Facts About the Clitoris.)

Size and Shape

Size matters. There, I said it. And so does shape.

While a vibrator's motor dictates which body parts will be stimulated best, the size and shape of a toy determine which body parts will be targeted. The Form 2 from JimmyJane is a great example. With smaller, tendril-like protrusions, its size and shape are optimized for external clitoral stimulation. But, if you’re looking for some G-spot action, you want something completely different. No little tendrils. You want a toy with some girth and with a curve that will reach that magical, erogenous zone. LELO's GiGi 2 is a great example of this.

Control

Most of us aren’t simply "on" or "off" when it comes to sex. Arousal takes some time, and we all get there differently. Your vibrator should respect that and offer you some options. Wand vibrators keep it simple; they vibrate at either "high" or "low". LELO and We-Vibe go a bit further and offer various pre-programmed vibration patterns. You can scroll through all the programs with an easy click of a button. The only downfall to these toys is that there’s no "back" button, so if you accidentally click past your favorite setting in the heat of the moment, you have to scroll through all the other options to get back to it.


Other companies give complete control to the user. With Orgasmatronics' HackOff, you can easily program your own vibration patterns into your favorite vibrator. Or there is the X1 Orgasmatron, which offers control in the form of a dial, so you can speed up or slow down as you see fit. (Get more tips on sex toy peronalization in Get Your Geek On - and Get Off!)

Materials

Scary chemicals are, well, scary. Especially when you think about putting them into your body. The insertable parts of any good vibrator should be made with medical-grade silicone. Tantus, Orgasmatronics, and other high-end sex toy companies use "platinum cure" silicone because it’s got an outer electron shell that is only partially filled. Electron shells are desperate to be full, which means that those unpaired electrons are desperate for interaction. Just think of them as "horny". (There’s that sexy science again!) A little bit of this platinum will interact with other precursor chemicals and transform them into nice, clean polymers. For those of you who aren't following the chemistry here, what all that means is that the material is safe for your hoo-ha. And that means you can relax and focus on your happy place. (Get more info in Sex Toy Safety: A Guide to Materials.)

You

The final ingredient to any great sex toy is you. You decide what works for you. Every body is different. So, what’s "Ho-Hum," to you might be "HO-LY HELL!" to someone else. That means that sometimes finding something that hits the spot takes a little scientific experimentation.

Now that you can piece together what it is about your special, mechanical lover that sends you off to pleasure town, the next time you find yourself in that dreamy post-orgasmic haze, you can wonder about other mysteries of the universe. Like, "How long as that spot been on my ceiling?"

This article was brought to you by our partner, Orgasmatronics Inc.