I've always been particularly partial to the idea of orgasming at the same time as my partner. It always seemed like a nice way to enjoy sex. Since I tend to mostly partner with penis-owners who feel that sex is over once they orgasm, it just seemed easier and better for everyone involved if I could orgasm at the same time. I'm lucky that my body seems to work in a way that allows me to do that. Even so, I always assumed I had a "single orgasm" type of body. I had never assumed that my body was capable of multiple orgasms. I hadn't even really tried.
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My Personal Journey to Multiple Os
Early this year, I stumbled across an article touting a vagina-owner's innate ability to have multiple orgasms. The article claimed that every vagina-owner has the built-in ability to have multiple orgasms ... even if some people haven't chosen to explore that path. I don't like generalities, but the article got my wheels spinning. Had I just been ignoring an entire part of my sexuality because I'd convinced myself that it wasn't possible? It was time to figure out if I'd been wrong this whole time.
So, I went on a journey to figure out my own path to multiple orgasms. At the urging of my partner, I decided to take this journey and make it a solo one. As he pointed out, it was more likely to happen if I learned to do it by myself. Plus, if I succeeded, he'd get to reap the benefits later.
Week One ... Trials and Frustration
He was right, though. I didn't quite realize how much effort, frustration and time I'd spend while trying to convince my body to have multiple orgasms. I'm glad that I decided to explore it solo. It made it easier to give up without having to explain myself. The first week I tried, it was just frustrating. My mind wanted to do it, but my body just wouldn't cooperate. I'd spend a long time after my first orgasm trying to make it happen again, but it just seemed like my body wasn't having it. I couldn't get close, and it was difficult to feel pleasure from continued stimulation. I was frustrated.
Week Two ... Making Progress
After that first week, though, I started to find that my body was actually reaching the precipice of a second orgasm, although I still wasn't making it to the actual peak. It was seconds away. I just couldn't make my body actually achieve another orgasm. It was frustrating, but it was progress. I took that as a sign that I was accomplishing something through my experimentation.
Finally ... O-Town!
It took a couple weeks, but with no rhyme or reason, I was surprised to find that I had that second orgasm one day ... and then a third ... and then a fourth! It seemed like the "dam" that had built up had been broken, and I was pretty ecstatic about it. I'm pretty sure I texted someone with the news. I was that stoked.
Worried it was an anomaly, I had to try it again and again for the next couple weeks, and it still worked! Some days it was easier than others. Some days, it just didn't work, but it seemed like I could enjoy multiple orgasms semi-reliably. I had learned something new about my body and, most importantly, my pride was intact. My horribly unscientific experiment had been a success!
Having multiple orgasms is still pretty new to me. I enjoy it, but although other people say that their orgasms grow in intensity each time, I'll admit that I find each subsequent orgasm to be less intense and less pleasurable than the one before it. For that reason, I still haven't made multiple orgasms a regular part of my sex life.
During my experimentation, I found a noticeable lack of articles and information about how women can achieve multiple orgasms. It seemed like every person who was enjoying them was just naturally blessed with the ability. There didn't seem to be too much information about training your own body unless it had a spiritual slant to it. While I think multiple female orgasms can definitely be a spiritual experience, I think a lot of people also just want more orgasms. Based on my own experience, I came up with a few tips to help you achieve the elusive multiple O.
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Tips for Achieving Multiple Orgasms
Train Your Body
It's fascinating how almost everything about our bodies can be trained. Eat less, and your body adjusts its metabolism to make up for it. Drink alcohol every day and you'll adjust to the effects and require more alcohol to get the same buzz. Your orgasms can be the same way. If your body is used to just having a single orgasm, your brain may shut down to arousal after that first orgasm hits. To get more, you're going to have to train your body to continue to experience arousal and pleasure. To start the process, work on continuing the stimulation, sexy ideas and images after that first orgasm. This can help your brain and body learn that there's more to come. It may take some time, but I found I was able to get more aroused after my first orgasm with practice.
Keep Up the Stimulation
Almost every guide out there says that you need to continue the physical stimulation after you've achieved orgasm. For many vagina-owners, the clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch at this point, so touch yourself in sensual areas that don't feel too sensitive. Resume touching your orgasmic centers within a minute or two of the last orgasm to keep your body from going too far down the resolution phase.
Find Great Stimulation (or the Right Toy?)
Finding good stimulation is important to reaching multiple peaks as well. I love powerful vibrators, but I find that too-powerful vibrators will start to make my body numb and make multiple orgasms impossible. Find something that works for you without overstimulating or causing numbness. (Kinkly reviewed the LELO SONA Cruise and found it be a machine when it comes to multiple orgasms. Read the review here.)
Give Yourself Permission to Fail
It helps so much to accept that multiples orgasms - or orgasm in general - might not happen and that that's OK. While I did have a goal in mind (more orgasms!), it really helped me to understand that discovering multiple orgasms might be a long process and that today might not be the day for those multiples to happen. I gave myself permission to give up if I just didn't think it was going to happen that day - and that took the pressure off.
This entire process is so much easier if you find something that's arousing to you in the first place. Having orgasms is just as much a physical battle as it is a mental battle. Give yourself the best methods to succeed. Find a good erotic story, fantasy, porn movie, or whatever gets you off to help you continue your arousal after that first orgasm.
Relax Your Body
This might sound counter-intuitive, but I was having problems achieving multiple orgasms because I was too tense. I was so tense and expectant that it all felt like hard work. Then, one time when I had decided it was useless and I wasn't going to achieve any more orgasms, I relaxed my body in annoyance - and I instantly had an orgasm. Make sure that you're relaxing all of those muscles and allowing them to occasionally tighten, much like you'll notice you do when you're climbing the hill towards your first climax. (Read more in Stop Worrying About Orgasms. Seriously.)
Finally, remember to explore your body with curiosity and self acceptance. Multiple orgasms don't happen for everyone, but you can learn a lot about your body by trying to have them. Just enjoy the ride.
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