BDSM

Beyond Plain Vanilla: 8 New Things to Learn in the Bedroom

by STEPHANIE WEAVER

Published: MAY 30, 2014 | Updated: JANUARY 12, 2022

Plain vanilla sex is nice, but with so many flavors to try, how can you expect to be satisfied with just one?

You've probably heard that variety is the spice of life. Well, that doesn't just apply to food and weekend excursions; it also applies to sex. Because let's face it, pumping away at the same repetitive missionary moves can dampen the flame of passion. To keep things hot and heavy, couples need to keep things interesting. So forget plain vanilla - spice things up with these need-to-know moves. We promise they'll keep both you and your partner chomping at the bit for more between-the-sheets bliss.

The Golden Gate

The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is one of those things you just have to see before you die. So, it’s no wonder that one of the most innovative sex position has taken its name from that legendary structure.

This ultra-erotic take on the old 69 position takes flexibility, stamina and a sense of adventure. It looks a lot like one partner doing a back bridge over the other - and boy will you feel like a hot couple if you pull this one off.

Simply have your partner lay back on the bed with knees bent. Straddle your partner’s head with your thighs, placing both knees next to either side of his (or her) ears. Then arch your back into a bridge, pushing your hips toward the ceiling and your mouth toward your partner's pleasure zone. If you're flexible enough, you can pleasure each other at the same time. (Want some oral sex tips? Check out 8 Steps to Giving a Great Blow Job.)

Light Bondage

Have you heard of "Fifty Shades of Grey"? Of course you have. The fact that it took the world by storm is proof positive that a whole lot of women out there think bondage is totally hot. If you want to have some Anastasia-style kinky fun in the bedroom, you can turn up the heat with furry handcuffs, blindfolds or rope.

Buy a book on knots and learn the various forms of knots you can use to tie your partner up. Some of the best include the square knot, French bowline, Lark’s head/cow hitch and clove hitch knot.

After your partner is securely tied or handcuffed, lightly place a blindfold over his or her eyes. You can then use your hands, mouth, a light crop or tickler to tease and taunt them until they scream with pleasure. (Need more ideas? Check out some kinky bondage toys.)

Anal Sex

People tend to be pretty divided when it comes to anal sex. Some love it, some hate it and some aren't even interested in giving it a try. But anal sex can be pure pleasure for both men and women; if there's one sexual act you should check off your bucket list, this is probably it.

The best way to have anal sex for the first time is slowly and with a lot of lube. Have your partner pleasure you orally and stimulate your anus with a finger before going further. Be sure to be calm and relaxed, or it’s going to hurt. Changing your diet to include lots of fiber and raw vegetables will also help by promoting regular bowel movements and keeping things clean back there. The bottom line: Back door sex is fun. You just have to be patient, slow and keep the line of communication open. (For more tips, read What You Need to Know About Anal Sex.)

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Anal Sex Beads on Him

Many straight men want nothing to do with inserting anything in their butts, but anal beads can lead to an intense and arousing orgasm. The prostate is much like the G-spot for women, and it is best stimulated with light anal play. Before you put anal beads in your partner, use one or two fingers to stimulate the area. Once your fingers are inside, curl them in a come-hither motion to slowly massage his prostate. When you both get used to that, you can move on to the anal beads. Just be sure to use plenty of lubrication - and communicate. (Wondering what the heck an anal bead is? Check out Adam & Eve's anal bead collection.)

Sex Furniture

If you're the adventurous type, you’ve probably had sex on your bed, on the kitchen table, in an armchair and in a car. In those cases, being uncomfortable is half the fun! However, furniture specifically designed for you and your partner’s pleasure can greatly deepen your sexy time by increasing comfort.

Sex furniture includes specially made beds, chairs and swings and it's all designed with one purpose: to get you off. The foam furniture is easy to clean and helps you get into even the most elaborate sex positions. Some of it is even beautiful enough to put in your living room! (Read more about this unique type of home accessory in Sex Furniture: Love Your Home.)

A Threesome

For trusting and open-minded couples, a threesome can be extremely gratifying. Whether you choose to do two-guys-one-girl, two-girls-one-guy, or three of a kind, having a threesome is all about honesty and communication.

The best way to have a threesome successfully is to always be on the same page as your partner. If you or they feel even the slightest twinge of jealousy, it’s best to just back off the topic.

Also, be sure that both of you give the OK when picking a third person to add to your playtime. You can ask a friend, visit a swingers club, or even search the Web for options. (Interested? Check out Threesomes: For Couples Who Want to Know More on Amazon.com)

Sex in Strange Places

There's nothing that adds excitement to your sex life as easily as doing the deed somewhere new. Whether it’s in a change room at the mall, an elevator, or a library, having a quickie in a strange place can be both thrilling and amazing. But beware: Public displays of intimacy can lead to arrest in most states, so be sure to do this carefully and in a way that will give you the thrill of exposure - without actually being seen. If having sex in public places doesn’t float your boat, try getting down and dirty in the back of your car at night while it’s still in the driveway. You can experience the buzz of getting it on outside while still being safely near your home.

Sex with Food

Sex with food can add to the sensuality and physical pleasure of sex. Whipped cream, peanut butter or chocolate sauce all add a yummy spin to a mundane bedroom romp by adding a new sense to the mix.

Try sweet and sour treats to mix up your taste sensations, or spread chocolate kisses up and down your partner’s body, leaving a sexy trail in your wake. Cupcake frosting is great because it takes a lot of tongue action to thoroughly get it off your partner. It won't be hard work, we can promise you that!